[Day: Monday, March 24th. Time: 7:30 a.m.] [Weather: Cool, but warming. Sunny.] [You're on your way to school!] [Session Start!] * Katie opens the door, probably with the watchful eye of her mother from inside, as her father would have left for work right now. She peeks out into the morning through the crack, then pulls it open the rest of the way and steps outside. * Kaede is at the end of the walkway, standing still and looking around. His back is to the house and he's got his kaban to his side. He pushes up his glasses and moves his head from side to side standing patiently. * Kaede does check his watch though. * Katie stares, jumping as the door closes gently behind her. She takes a few steps forward and glances back, probably checking to see if her mom's peeking out the window like she told (threatened?) she would, then walks a bit more. "Kaede?" * Kaede stops looking and raises his head slightly at the voice, turning his head very slowly to look at her, lifting his kaban up to his shoulder. "Hrrm?" * Katie matches her eyes with his. "What are you doing here?" * Kaede matches his eyes right back and shrugs. "Nothing really. Just thought you'd want some company." * Katie smiles a little. Nervously? "I- I would. Yeah." Thanks. * Kaede sighs and hangs his head a little, not wanting to quite meet her gaze. "Don't mention it. Really." * Kaede starts walking slowly, waiting for her to catch up * Katie walks, too, catching up without a problem. She still looks a bit frail, but all the color's back, and she's walking fine. A fresh scar is sported across her neck. * Kaede closes his eyes as he walks, waiting until they're a bit away from the house and lets out a breath. "Sorry." * Katie blinks. "For what?" I...really shouldn't have yelled at you the other day. When... oh. That. * Katie adjusts her satchel. She's got a nice grip on the strap. * Kaede hangs his head a little and whispers softly. "I just couldn't stand to see you like that..." * Katie winces. "I'm sorry." * Kaede whips his head around towards her and looks incredulous. "Eh? For what?" * Katie keeps walking, her gaze darting around at the scenery as she hears this or that. "I- I'm not... better. I'm not. I have to be." I don't want you to see me like that. * Kaede takes a deep breath and sighs. "No. That's not right, Katie Andrews." * Kaede bites his lip and looks at her. "Or...can I start calling you Katherine?" * Katie blinks, looking at him. "Why do you want to call me that?" I don't know...I guess it just seems like it's more complicated...and if I could learn English... I could teach you. * Kaede shakes his head. "It's just kind of stuck...ever since I heard your voice on the tape...even if.. I didn't understand it.." * Katie smiles a little. "And it is. I mean." She snaps her attention to something in the bushes, but keeps walking. * Kaede looks up slowly. "But now, we're alone. So you can tell me." My parents called me Katie because I couldn't say Katherine. * Katie giggles, but it fades quickly. * Kaede smiles for a second, but it too fades quickly. 'Why do you have a will?" Well, I... * Katie hesitates, then quiets. "I thought. I guess it doesn't matter what I thought, but." You thought what? That you were going to die? * Kaede tilts his head to the side. He doesn't sound angry so much as curious. I wanted everyone to live, and be okay, but at the same time, I wasn't sure if I could do that for myself. You're going to be okay, Katie Andrews. * Kaede says that with utmost certainty. * Katie sniffs, her eyes moistening and a couple tears trickling out. "I don't know." It was a lot easier, thinking I might die. Of course it's easy. * Kaede lets out a deep sigh and closes his eyes partly. "We all get that feeling...when the world crashes down on us.." But...just because it's easy...doesn't make it right...and once you start thinking that... * Kaede isn't looking at Katie anymore either. * Katie takes a breath. It doesn't shake, and she's not crying anymore, either. "It was easier than thinking I- Can't believe they did this to me." * Kaede stops. "Katie..." * Katie takes a few steps, then looks at Kaede. "What?" * Kaede gestures with his head. "Take a look around you. What do you see?" * Katie blinks. "Where?" * Katie does as he asks, though. Just everywhere. Just look. Street. Houses, plants, cars... people, in those houses, and the sky. It's morning. And there's you. Why? Because. As much as I hate to remind you of this, what you DON'T see is a hospital or a closet. * Katie flinches, looking off to the side. "It's not that easy." * Kaede takes a deep breath. "What I'm trying to say is...well, I'm not the foolish type to go "It's over, forget about it.' That wouldn't be fair to you..." I *want* to! God, I want to. But it's not... you don't know. But what I am saying is...life is still around you. It's up to you whether you want to try to be a part of it again. * Kaede looks down at Katie. "Don't I?" * Kaede replies dryly. "I'm sure I've *never* seen the inside of a hospital room before this, Katie Andrews." * Katie looks back up at him, for a long moment, then tears her gaze away and starts walking again. "Someone taking everything you are, spitting on it, and breaking it into a million pieces? And now you don't even know which way they go together, or which one's the one you were in the first place..." * Kaede bites his lip slightly. "My sister?" * Katie stops again, looking back at him, worried. "Nanami? Is she okay?" Last I really saw her, she thought I was trying to kill her. All because I was trying to explain this Arcana stuff to her again...because she *constantly* gets involved... * Katie blinks, confused, then recognition dawns and she nods. "I remember you telling me." * Kaede leans his hand against a pole and looks very weary. * Katie watches him for a moment, then walks over and takes his hand, leading him away from the pole. Akemi doesn't think I should tell her anything but...how can I not? When she gets beaten up without remembering who did it? When she gets nearly r- raped in front of me by that bastard of a weasel Tenjirou, and now she either thinks I'm the most irresponsible person alive and wants nothing to do with me, or she thinks I'm going to kill her." He snorts and looks slightly at the sky. "Yeah. What a choice." * Kaede closes his eyes and they water for a moment. "Nanami..she...she's all I really have left. Without her, I don't even have a family.." * Kaede blinks as he finally notices Katie tugging at him and looks down curiously at the hand. * Katie sighs as Kaede doesn't let himself be led, and contents herself with holding his hand with both of hers. "I want to tell my parents. Maybe I did, but they didn't understand." They're my family. It's only so long before... I mean, even now, someone pretending to be me and... * Kaede closes his eyes and whispers. "How can you really tell who's real and who's fake, right?" * Kaede opens his eyes and looks at her sadly. "The only real reason we found you is that the other Katie made a stupid mistake. And even then.." He blows out a breath. "I'm just lucky I found Saori." * Katie laughs, unsteadily. "You can't. Kyon said I have to believe." She shakes her head. "I hope. I so hope that was the right one." Mmm...Katie...you know... No matter who tells you it, good advice is good advice. I guess. And...you have to think, which is better? Having faith and believing people are true or staying paranoid, suspecting everyone, and driving everyone else away from you... I can't- I don't know- * Kaede looks at Katie. "Do you want to be alone?" * Katie looks down at Kaede's hand, which she's still holding. She starts to cry, though it doesn't come through her voice. "No." * Kaede squeezes her hand a bit. "Then...I guess you'll have to live with a little risk for a better outcome, won't you?" But I also don't want- * Katie tries to finish that, fails utterly, and just gazes downward. I said little risk. That doesn't mean we can't try to take precautions. But the more you doubt, the easier they can get to you. * Katie 's expression changes, and she's not crying anymore, but there's definitely something wrong with it. "They always are anyway. They don't need to be here." * Kaede frowns and stops. "They always are what?" Here. * Katie pulls him down a side street, glancing up to take in the people around her. * Kaede walks and blinks. Then whispers. "No...I don't want them here either. But the worst thing we can do is think that we're them." * Katie hisses, and she snaps, "I'm not. I can't be." * Kaede blinks and suddenly puts his hands on her shoulders, looking her in the eyes. "Katie. Katie! Listen to me. You're not!" * Katie lets out a startled half-shriek, stumbling back, but hopefully Kaede keeps her from falling. She stares at him. * Kaede does keep her from falling, looking into her eyes with a strong gaze, keeping it steady. "You're you. You always will be you. None of this will change that, no matter what you think." And I don't care if I have to remind you of that a thousand times, I will always believe it. * Katie blinks, and she looks about ready to cry again. "I- I'm not them. I won't- but-" * Kaede puts his arms around her shoulders and just leans forward in a hug. * Katie hugs back. Hesitantly at first, and then her grip tightens. She sets her face in his shoulder and speaks in a horrified half-whisper, "It's like they already won. Like I never had a choice." * Kaede smiles humorously. "Like it was in the cards?" No. Like I didn't have a choice. Kaede... * Kaede frowns. "How do you mean?" * Kaede hasn't loosened his grip yet. * Katie stands on her toes and whispers into his ear. "I want to kill her." And then she drops her face and buries it in his shoulder again. * Kaede frowns and pulls back slightly, so he can see her face better. "No." * Katie flinches when she loses her standing pillow, but doesn't meet his gaze. "I do! I do. But Katie doesn't. She doesn't hate people. It's not what I did... I never did." You can't...you... * Kaede tilts his head to the side and looks at her more strongly. "What do you mean "Katie doesn't"?" I don't know! Katie...listen to me... * Katie winces at the sound of her own voice. "It's like- like I don't think the same anymore. Things don't connect the same. It's not the *same*, Kaede." Katie... If we find her...and we fight her, she will die. But...don't hold onto a desire to kill her...that makes you no better than what she wanted to do...what she did...to you. * Katie starts to cry. "Good," she says with conviction, which is followed by, "But it shouldn't be good." * Kaede sighs and hugs her. "And..you can hate me for thinking that, but it's true." He then looks at her slightly, without releasing. "Isn't it?" Do you believe in karma, Katie Andrews? Don't you think I know that? Don't you think... I realized. We're so much alike. If I- if I wanted to... * Katie stops, then shakes her head. * Kaede nods then looks her over. "I do." That's why...I guess that's why I'm so hard on myself...over what happened to me, over my father...I guess. I just felt I deserved it somehow. * Katie looks at him. Or maybe it's through him. "I always thought you had to make your own karma." * Kaede chuckles nervously. "My card. It's the card of balance right? That you have to juggle many options? Isn't it ironic that that's how I approach life too?" * Kaede then looks at her strongly. "Oh. Sometimes you do. But there's a problem in that." * Katie blinks. "What?" There's a difference in making your own karma when the opportunity provides...and actively seeking it out. * Katie blinks again, not crying anymore, or horrified, but just looking thoughtful. "I don't follow." Think of it... * Kaede looks up and tries to think of an example. Think of it...as a fisherman. Or two fishermen rather. One fisherman walks along with his fishing pole, just in case. He stops off in villages, talks to people, he's happy. He sees the scenery, sees the sights, but when he comes to a lake, he has his fishing pole ready. He can fish and he's content. Yet he was just as content wandering. He simply feels more fulfilled when he finds the lake. Then, there's another fisherman. He doesn't talk to people, he doesn't look at anything, he constantly searches for a lake. It aches on him. He can't rest until he finds it. He doesn't sleep, doesn't eat, just constantly looks for the water. What do you think happens if he never finds a lake? * Katie tilts her head, still being hugged. "He gets sick." And...even if he finds the lake, what then? What does he do when he's fished that lake dry? * Kaede tilts his head to the side to regard Katie. "Come on, I know you're better than this. What would happen to him personally? Emotionally?" But I'm not... Kaede, I *can't* sit and let her do this again. I can't. Who says you're sitting? Didn't you hear what I just said? Just because the first fisherman isn't actively looking for the lake, that doesn't mean he isn't prepared for when he finds it! So we prepare ourselves. We make sure this kind of attack doesn't happen again. We do NOT go out with the intent to kill. * Kaede looks at her with tears in his eyes. "Please Katie..." * Katie sighs, and she sort of flops forward, hugging him. "All right. I just... it feels like she already won." * Kaede hugs her tightly and whispers in her ear, tearing more. "If she'd won, you wouldn't be here hugging me right now, now would you?" * Katie doesn't cry, speaking with a detached voice even as she squeezes him back. "It's better than killing me." She can laugh when she puts me there again. Every time. And she can laugh at the end, too. She won't be able to...I'll make sure of that. * Katie stiffens, slightly. "I don't want you killing people for me." * Kaede speaks off-hand, and just as detached. "Why? I've already put one person in a coma and possibly 2 more. What's another one?" I'm sorry. For what? I'm not saying I'm going to try..but... I will say I probably won't stop if the opportunity presents itself. That you had to do that. That you did it. I'm sorry. * Kaede blinks and looks at her, then manages a fake smile. "Didn't you tell me a while back to stop apologizing for everything?" * Katie lets out a little sigh, resting the side of her head on his shoulder. Her gaze goes right past his smile. "It's not my fault, and I know that. But nobody should have to do that." No...no one should. * Kaede takes a deep breath and looks down. "I didn't want to, you know. I even rescued Haruko-san. I mean...the girl annoys the hell out of me and I go to rescue her. What's wrong with me?" You care about her. It's stronger than... whatever would keep you from hurting her. * Kaede sighs. "I care about you all more than I care to admit." He stands up and puts his hands in his pockets, tsshing between his teeth and looking off to the side. "Damn it, since when did I get so sappy? All of this is just a pointless waste of time anyway." * Katie blinks as he lets go and she loses her pillow again. Some people... and then she looks at Kaede and grins suddenly and mischievously. "We're just the best waste of time you ever had." * Kaede looks out of the side of his eyes. "Yeah? Well you'd better be worth it, time burglar." * Katie tilts her head, sniffs, and looks to one side. "Of course I'm worth it. I'm worth all the time in the world." Or at least the walk to school. Which reminds me. We're going to be late if we stand here dawdling. Come on. * Katie yelps, but lets him pull her. "Okay, okay." * Kaede smiles as he looks over his shoulder. "It's good to have you back." * Katie smiles back, the haunted look entering her eyes for the briefest of moments. "Everyone keeps saying that." Yes but, you didn't really seem back for certain until just then. And you're right. You are worth it. * Katie hesitates, then nods. "I hope so." * Kaede nods and loses his smile. "Let's get ourselves to school then." He tugs her along the way. [End here!]