Session Start: Mon Oct 25 18:19:38 2004 * Leena waves! ^__^ [Tuesday, Febuary 3, 2004 - Ice Cream Parlor after school] * Taki waits out front for Leena to meet her. * Leena walks- without her normal enthusiasm at all, but she's not as mopey as she was, into view, still in school uni and backpack. * Leena half-smiles as she stops next to Taki, and waves. "Heyas." * Taki is an expert at changing out of her school uni as soon as school ends. She's in her casual black outfit. Baggy cargo pants, t-shirt and duster, not her leather combat one with the X, but just a material one. Hey. How you doing? * Taki walks with the other girl inside, letting her order first. ... okay. *she pauses at the counter, before ordering a triple-scoop banana split, extra large, with nuts, chocolate, and strawberries.* What're you getting, Taki? I'll get a non-fat no-sugar frozen yogurt. *The man behind the counter goes about dishing it up after Taki pays for everything.* * Taki takes the tray over toward an empty booth, handing Leena her ice cream before taking her own. * Leena sets the ice cream down, then looks at Taki. There's just a trace of sadness behind that smile, and her smile lacks her usual enthusiasm. Are you really okay? ... do you have to ask? I was about to chuck those two out the window. Whee, they're bloody, bloody birds, and I would have loved it so much when they went splat seven floors down.. *says this calmly, visibly keeping herself from yelling it* ... It's good that you didn't though. You know that, right? ... no, it's not. They ... they... * Leena squints her eyes shut, then covers her face with her hands. They're bad people. But... If you'd have done that, you'd be bringing yourself to their level. ... Mallet wouldn't have cared. ... * Taki sighs. Leena, you're Mallet. That's why it scares me. She's strong, and tough... all that stuff that happens on the job? Mallet doesn't care. It doesn't bother her anymore, because if it did, she couldn't fight. And if she couldn't fight... ... so it bothers me. All of it. I try... I try to find a reason to smile every day, ya know? It's getting harder and harder to do. You need to not think like that. You're the same person transformed or not. Smile because you have friends. Smile because if it wasn't for us all those teams we helped save would be dead right now. Am I, really? I don't want to be the same person as her. You are. You have to be. ... if I was, then Mallet couldn't keep fighting, though. The only one that can keep her-- you undercontrol is you. Sure she could. Because you keep on fighting. It's always been you. * Leena sighs, and slumps down into the table, face-first. The more you distance yourself, the more you're going to hurt when you're not transformed. I... in my room. I've got a lot of plushies, and stuffed animals. Yeah? ... but, I've got a plush of each of the people I've killed, too. ... you know why? Because you're sorry you had to? ... yeah. As badly as it had to happen, I want to keep that number as low as possible. ... it scares me that I wanted to chuck those two out of the window. We all had that urge. But you were strong enough to hold it at bay. I don't think Sakura would've been able to do that. * Leena shakes her head from the table. "Not me. You." As much as I... respect her. If it had been just me, they would ... I would... * Taki blushes a bit. "I was just trying to do what was best..." I'm sure you would've restrained yourself... I'd hope you would. ... restraining myself would have only been throwing one. ... I'm glad I was there then... You do get really gung-ho about things. It would probably do you some good to wait for the rest of your team before you rushed into anything. Well, you've seen the moves where they just bust into the apartment, and tell everyone to freeze? That's what I was gonna do. If it'd'uv worked, then they'd jsut stay there, and there wouldn't have been a fight. We had no idea how many were in there or what sort of state Junko was in. You don't do that when there's a hostage. ... Anyway, we made it out okay. But there've been other times where you were close to getting everyone in trouble. Like jumping after the sea creature at the shipyard... I was down there. There were dozens of ningyo in that water. You could've... died. ... ... would it make a difference, at this point? Mallet's too strong for this team. She's... not needed, the others can handle it, without the overkill. ... Don't talk like that! It would make a difference to me. ... I'd miss you. ... Yeah, but you wouldn't miss the trouble I cause. I know I cause it. It's just... if people listened to me, we would win. I'm just no good at factoring in the other stuff, and the aftereffects. Yes I would, that's a part of who you are. Yes, but you're not the leader. Maya is. But we would WIN. Every time. If there's anything I know, it's how to fight. You gotta give it your all, and ignore everything but it. Like the samurai, ya know? To be a samurai is to be insane, or something? There was more to that, but I don't remember. Fighting is always the answer though. Samurai didn't just go picking fights with anyone they wanted. They fought for honor and to defend those who couldn't defend themselves. ... that's what I've been doing, isn't it? They'd still listen to their shogun. Beating up the bad guys, protecting our charges? ... But the Queen doesn't care. She does care. She wouldn't have assigned us here if she didn't care. She's an idiot, and impersonal, and doesn't care at all-- ... Nike. She doesn't care about -us-. Just... one kind word from her, even a 'thank you' or some acknowledgment... I can't believe she doesn't care. But this isn't about her, it's about us. Don't worry about what you can't control. But ... she took Sakura away, doesn't deal with us directly, evenm though we're supposed to be reallly important, she still has that bitch Sponge on our case... I... if you got yourself in trouble, you're not only putting yourself in danger, but everyone on the team. Sakura is still with us. She'll always be with us. She's in a better position to help us now. ... If she just said... just one nice thing. Showed she cared, instead of just thinking of us as cannon fodder... * Leena sighs, and picks her head up, holding it up with her hands. That's just not her way. It doesn't me she doesn't care... Maybe it wouldn't be so bad. I'm not going to say what she thinks. I honestly don't know. I just know what I think. And I think you're hurting yourself by distancing yourself from your actions. Feelings do matter, whether you're Leena or Mallet. You don't think I don't worry about every single person we fight? Sometimes they just leave us with no choice. But I hope one day we'll be able to settle this without anymore bloodshed... ... it's different for you, though. How is it different? You can only just hurt them. ... Maya, Minami, they're ranged. They don't see their enemies faces. ... And... me. Mallet. I can't help but see them, and I know, and they know, that they're not gonna survive. I -know- they won't. I can't trick myself by thinking they'll live, just be hurt, or it wasn't a lethal blow, they might live. No one feels good about killing. I've had to kill my share of assassins too. I... don't know what to tell you about that. You have a gift for destruction... But that's all the more reason why you should stop to think before you strike. Because you know the consequences of your actions. Is that why you wanted to use a gun? Just so you wouldn't have to look into people's faces? ... a gun doesn't hurt as much, either. * Leena laughs. "Unless I carry around a rocket launcher or something." * Leena sobers up again. "... I'm starting to get the hang of them, too." I think I'll stay the hell away from you if you ever come across one. ^^; ... guns, that is. Just remember guns kill people just as much as squashing them with your mallet... ... but they might live. It doesn't mean you should be anymore willing to use it on a person. But I've gotta fight. ... if I fight without Mallet, maybe it won't hurt so much? That depends on you. Your ice cream's melting... ... it's okay. Eat it, it'll make you feel better. * Taki spoons a bit of her frogurt into her mouth. * Leena pokes the huge melting gob of ice cream halfheartedly with a spoon. She just looks at it. ... you know what? What? * Leena shoves the spoon in, and pushes the whole deal away from her. She pauses a moment, before saying softly, "I'm gonna give up ice cream. ... at least until this is over. Maybe that'll help." ... * Leena blinks back some tears, more only come to replace them. Leena... don't let it change you. We all have to fight, it's our jobs. How we deal with it at the end of the day is what we need to worry about though. Yeah... but that's it. I've... I've been trying to fight and stay myself, through all of this. Same smile, same habits, same me, same way of doing things, wasn't gonna let some stupid doghouse team beat me... ... I... I like being on this team. ... becuase you've got friends on this team. And that's really the important thing. You're my friend on this team. I wanted to talk to you today, cause we hadn't talked in such a long while... * Leena shakes her head. "I'm not a good friend." I'm a terrible friend. No you're not! ... would a terrible friend try and get her friend ice cream? And try to cheer her up? Or ... at least talk to her? I should've done this a long time ago... I've been worrying about my own shit so much I didn't even notice anyone else... * Leena grins a little. "You know what, Taki?" What? *looks a little nervous at the sudden grin* * Leena grins from ear to ear. "We've still gotta egg your old teams houses. They don't deserve to even have had you on their team, and they're jerks for driving an awesome friend like you away." * Taki blushes nervously. "I haven't even bothering thinking about them lately... They don't really matter anymore anyway." .... aww. * Leena looks dissapointed. ;_; Sorry... I suppose if you really wanted to... If it'd cheer you up more than ice cream, it'd be like my duty to take you, right? ... well, it wouldn't be any fun unless your heart was in it. You're too good for petty revenge. ;_; Is that a bad thing? No, not really. * Leena drops her head for a moment. "It'd be fun if you were into it, though." She picks her head back up. I try to just ignore the things I don't like and can't change. That's all. No sense making things worse for a bit of satisfaction. If I'm feeling really bad, I'll just curl up and watch one of my favorite movies. * Leena droops her head. "That... that's true, isn't it." Yeah... I just accept that people are different. * Leena sighs. "I guess that's gotta change too." What? Trying to change people? ... no, me. ... maybe if I quit trying to fight me changing so much... I dunno. ... Changing how? ... I don't know, really. I worry about you Leena... ... but. If you think it's too much for you to handle alone, please come talk to me... or someone. Since... I'm trying not to change, Mallet is changing? Leena, you're Mallet. Yeah. ... that's why it's scary. If she's changing then you're changing. What's happening? Why are you scared? I can't take all this.... stuff! All this fighting, and people dying, and killing... and... the state we found Goggles in. If we weren't there at all she'd be in a lot worse. ... yeah. Think about the lives we're saving. It's because of them, I'm able to keep on fighting these men. But, I want to just skip this all and get right to who's responsible. ... and we both know where to look for that. Yeah. I'd be a hypocrite if I told you not to act on your own. ... so should I tell Sakura or Maya that I've been there? But I'm not going to anymore. We need the team for this. Alone any of us could end up dead. ... You went there already? ... yeah. Just looked, though. Yeah, we should talk to Maya about it then. Trust me, being attacked with sea weapons is no fun. ... if all we're waiting for is Squeegee.. I just feel like we're wating time. I don't want to give 'them' any more time than I have to before kicking their ass. We need to know what we're getting into... ... hey, Taki? What are you gonna do after this team? After this all is over? Go back home, right? I don't know... I guess. I'm supposed to like become the new leader after my Dad... * Taki can't bring herself to say it. Well... if you do, can I go with you? I think I'll be sick of the city and all the people in it, and all the memories... by the time this is over. It looks so peaceful there. I... suppose. It's not really for outsiders... You'd have to be on your best behavior. Do you have best behavior? *teasing* ... well, if there's not anything worth fighting about... ... I'll be sick of fighting after this, too. I don't know... if I'll ever transform again after this is all over. Right now I have no idea when it'll be over... Or what's going to end it. * Leena looks wsitfully at the melting ice cream. "And I'll really miss ice cream by then, too." I don't really think about things I have no control over... Leena. Eat the damn ice cream. Nuh-uh. I paid good money for it. Don't make me sit on your head and shovel it into your mouth. No more ice cream. I'm not gonna say something like that and then eat my words. ... * Taki takes Leena's spoon full of ice cream and holds it out towards her. "Eat it." * Taki puts on a pouty face. "Pretty please?" No way! I'm gonna be a whole new Leena Leena! And that means no ice cream! * Leena 'V's and giggles. That's the craziest thing I've ever heard. * Taki puts the spoon back into her dish and goes about finishing her own. ... nah. The craziest thing is I saw Minami shoveling down ice cream when noone was looking. ... No way. * Leena giggles. "See! That's crazier. Now to make it happen." ^_^ ... Wait, you just made that up? * Leena nodnods. But you heard it, and it's crazier. ^_^ * Taki sticks her tongue out. "Yeah, but you're actually doing this. Real crazy is much crazier than made up stuff." * Leena sticks her tongue out back. "Well you trying to use the Puppy Dog Pout attack on me is pretty crazy too!" Oh god, don't remind me of puppies... * Leena hops to her feet, and then saddens a bit, remembering something. "... I've got to go to the gun range tonight." Oh, okay. I hope you feel a bit better now. ... a little. I just want you to think about us before you act is all. I'm not trying to be mean. * Taki stands up as well, putting the dishes back on the tray. ... yeah. I'll try. You're really not going to eat this? ... really. ... I'll see you at school tomorrow? Okay. See you then. * Leena nods, and runs out, waving. "Seeya!" Bye! * Taki waves and takes the tray over to the trash. "Farewell, ice cream. We hardly knew ye." [mini endu]