Session Start: Tue Oct 26 15:25:19 2004 * Maya has 'invited' Taki to a favorite little cafe of hers, not too far from her home. It's the sort of small, mom-and-pop place where the shopowners greet her by name, then bow respectfully to the somewhat taller girl she brought along with her. Inside, it's cozy, if a bit small. "I used to eat here all the time before... ah, work." * Taki smiles politely and bows respectfully in return. "Looks nice. At least you have some time now." A little... * Maya looks for a place to sit, then spots a table near the window and... well, sits. "Still, it's been... a mess, lately." Yeah... *sits across from Maya* Um, I just wanted to treat you to a meal so we could talk about stuff. Mmmm. Now's a good a time as any, right? * Maya puts on her usual smile, although it's a bit strained. "How're you holding up, by the way?" I'm okay... I can deal with things. It was nice to see my parents. I like them... and really respect your father. You've got great parents, Taki. ^^ Really? I don't really have much to compare them to. I guess they're alright... * Maya chuckles softly. "I guess we all see things differently when we're not too close to them... anyway..." She grabs a menu and pages through it. "... so..." So yeah, I talked to Sakura and I figured I should come clean about some stuff... * Maya glances over the menu, then leans forward attentively. "Huh? Oh, okay... well, I'm guess part of things is being on the level with each other. I'm all ears." Well I knew my family was involved back when we were protecting Lady Deer. Those two assassins that came from behind? Their style was too familiar for them to be anything else... So I started looking into things myself... ... and? And I went back and had a private conversation with Sakura's connection that night when we met him at the bank. I was trying to find out about who was hiring the assassins. I wanted to trace them back to my clan and figure out what was going on. * Maya looks alot more focused now, menu forgotten. "What did you come up with?" Not much really. Just told that I would get myself killed, and I tried to convince him otherwise, and he told me he didn't really have anything hard to look into. He said he'd contact me if he heard anything, but I haven't heard back from him yet. Okay... well, I guess it's a start, if we're going to get to the bottom of things. Yeah. And, when I captured that guy, I went to the address he gave on my own, and again there was more evidence that my clan was involved. No one else would be capable of clearing the place out like that... If... If I'd just said something, maybe this whole thing with Junko could've been prevented... The guy from the motocross arena? And Taki... it wasn't the assassins that had took Junko. They were very much in the wrong, but they didn't... I know. But they gave those guys the opportunity to grab her... * Maya pauses to supress a shiver. "Just don't blame yourself... there's no preventing what's already happened. Unfortunately." I know... I just... I don't want that to happen ever again. If I can help it. It just seems they would've tried anyway, even without the assassins, if she'd been hurt... or any of them, really. And... yeah. You're not the only one. * Maya stares at the table, tapping a finger on it. I thought I was protecting you guys, for not getting you involved in my clan matters. If something happened, and the clan suddenly had an enemy, I could very easily become a target. That's why I changed my name to go to school. Why I never contact them... Maybe I was just being paranoid, I dunno. Doesn't that come with your inheritance, sorta? Yeah. You guys are my friends and I didn't want you to be captured or something to be used against me or my Dad. You just never know. No, we really don't. It looks like it still kinda didn't work out like you'd hoped... still, I can understand why you did it. Yeah. Plus my parents said that they'd figure out a way to help me continue my training. So I could protect you guys, even if something did happen. * Taki looks a bit proud about that. * Maya nods firmly. "Good, good. We need all the support we can get right now." Yeah... I talked with Leena the other day... I'm worried about her. You're not the only one, trust me. What did you... er, find out, I guess. I tried to talk some sense into her, figure out why she's been acting so weird. She's like separating herself from Mallet. Considering herself to be a different person. Like that's an excuse to do the things she does. She's really worried about her power. She doesn't really have the option of pulling punches with her mallet. She doesn't like that she has to either kill the person or not fight at all... ... this sounds harsh, but... * Maya looks up at the ceiling. "She is going to have to accept that it's us or them. Life or death. They don't care... as cold-hearted as it is, why should we? We'll only handicap ourselves." ... I don't like killing, either. But... do we honestly have a choice? ... I don't think we should think like that. How does it make us right if we're no better than they are? I... look. I'm not actively saying we should execute anything that breathes on us... but if the time comes that we have no choice, we have to be able to. This is a war, Taki. The only moral advantage we have is that we're fighting to save Japan. Yeah, but... mercy is what makes us better... In movies that's always how it goes. In the end the villain causes their own death more than anything the hero does. We'll win because we're right and just. I will never show a ningyo mercy... but if I have the choice of letting a downed person live or die, and I'm not too... tense... * Maya seems to stare past Taki for a second, perhaps remembering something. "I would prefer mercy. But the ningyo aren't going to destroy themselves." Yeah, but... We can say we gave them to option to end things peacefully. They're the ones that choose violence. That choice, I imagine, was given a long time ago by the Queen herself. Now we fight. * Maya pauses, folding her fingers. "... you know, Taki. Something's been bugging me lately, and I pray it never comes true..." What's that? It's something that I've seen in all the princesses except for Sakura and... And who? * Maya sighs. "Pie. There's this... detachment. It's understandable, but sometimes I wonder if we matter as much as they say we do to them. I know Sakura's heart is with us... and in a sick sort of way, Pie was the same." ... I'm just praying Sakura never changes. I'm sure she won't, but... I worry, you know? Pie was crazy though... Sakura isn't. She's... a good person. ... Pie's heart was sort-of in the right place, but her head was all wrong; the Queen is the Queen. I can at least understand that, even if she was crazy. ... but yeah. Sakura's golden. * Maya smiles a little, almost proudly. I think it's not really about them not caring, so much as there's so much to worry about, if they took everything to heart, they'd be overwhelmed. You need a bit of distance so you can have perspective as a leader. ... yeah. Leena was saying the same stuff. I think that's my problem. I care too much. But... how can I change? ... eh? * Maya blinkblinks. And yeah, Sakura's... wonderful. But she's only had us to worry about until now. She was upset that the Queen didn't seem to acknowledge our work and dedication. That she didn't really seem to care about girls that died. Leena, that is. I... hate to admit it, but I can understand why she's the way she is, even if I can't bring myself to like it. There are alot of us... and we do die now and then. If I were her, I'd fall apart at the seams. Yeah, I think she's the way she is because she has to be that way... ... when you think about it, that's really got to be painful. I could never be that way... * Maya looks down, perhaps a bit humbled. "She is the Queen for a reason..." Yeah... I think you're an excellent leader, though. Me, I'm supposed to become one, but I don't think I could handle it right now... Well, I just follow my heart. ... you could do the same, and let your head adjust course! ^^ ... I don't know. I'm afraid of what I feel sometimes... That's alright... we're not all bright motes of light. There's a bit of ugliness in all of us... it's just a matter of overcoming it. Yeah. I have to talk myself out of a lot of stuff I really want to do though. Good stuff, bad stuff, or bravery-requiring stuff? Um... Sometimes I'm not sure. Inappropriate stuff. Like the other day, when we went to Haruko's... village. And the puppies. ... I just wanted so bad to punch her. That was horrible. * Taki looks a bit embarrassed to admit that. Haruko... She's just a lot to deal with... * Maya sighs. "She's with us for a reason. I just ask you to... swallow it all down for now. We will have to find a way to get her past all this... although I wonder if it'll cripple her powers if she comes to the realization that it's all in her head." Yeah, I know. I really really try to just ignore her. Won't work forever. But it just... infuriates me sometimes. Drives me insane. I can't stand cutsie shit like that... I'm just trying to understand her for now... and heh, really? Now, now, we're not all tough chicks in gangs, Taki. You're in Japan, now; the girls are either pastel pink or patent-leather black. ^^ Yeah... Please don't make fun of my clothes... I've had enough of that for a dozen lifetimes. I like my wardrobe. It's not like I make fun of your... *gestures at Maya's outfit* that. I'm not making fun! Just commenting... and this? * Maya is in, for the record, pink-and-black striped... everything. Even a felt oversized tophat. ... hey, I like this. Of course you do. It's not just Haruko, though. There's a lot of feelings... I just don't think I should be expressing. Alright, Taki. * Maya leans back. "Talk. Nothing you say goes past me." ... Um. * Taki blushes. Oh god. * Taki leans in. "I've been having these... dreams." * Maya raises an eyebrow, and counter-leans. "... yyyyeah?" If you tell anyone about this, I swear I'll sneak into your room while you're sleeping and... Yeah. Lips... sealed. But like, Sakura is in them... And we're all close and it's weird, because you're not supposed to do that stuff with other girls... * Taki blushes mightily. Oh jeez, why did I just tell you... >_< * Maya takes a very long moment to process that. Her expression doesn't change at all. Finally, she licks her lips. "Because you probably needed to get it out of your system?" ... and look. If it's just a silly dream, it's a silly dream. If there's more... well, I dunno what to say aside from... er... damn. I actually *don't* know what to say. Yeah, but... Now-- Now you think I'm weird... ... weird? Of course not! * Maya shrugs. "You are who you are." Yeah. Thanks for not freaking out. Anyway, there's NO way I could tell Sakura. Even if I did... like it. Well... if that's what you want, it's all up to you. It all stays here. I've never like thought about boys like that. They're scary and icky, and I know I'm childish about that stuff, but ew. I just don't know what to do. Like in the books I read there's like relationships beyond sex where it's like more of a kinship and belonging to each other and... stuff. ... you make dating sound so freaky, Taki. * Maya giggles nonetheless. ... Dating? *looks horrified by the very concept* Not that I know much about it, but... yeah. Still, that's the basics of dating; feeling out what the other person is emotionally and personality-wise... it's like being close friends, only with petting. * Maya nods, once. Petting? Petting what? ... you know. Making out. ... Kissing? * Maya just makes this hilarious face for a second. "Moreso. Look, how much about physical intimacy *do* you know?" * Taki looks down and doesn't say anything for several moments. "I... I've never asked anyone about it. I see it in movies, but... That's embarrassing to watch." Then this is the sort of thing I imagine would take more than just a chat over a meal we haven't even ordered. * Maya twiddles her fingers. "I mean... Taki. You've been in sex-ed classes, right?" Yeah. Use a condom. Don't do it or you'll get diseases... I don't think I'd go that far anyway. I mean I've never even kissed anyone... Then you know the generals of what *can* happen... but yeah. Hell, you shouldn't be going that far anyway unless you're damn sure you're with someone you'd like to spend the rest of your life with. But that's what I think, anyway. But how do you even know where to start? Do you have to be... *swallow* making out when you start dating someone? Friendship first, friendship middle, friendship last. It's the stepping stone to more... if you can't be someone's friend, you sure can't be their steady. All the other stuff comes when you're both ready for it... you shouldn't try to do that sort of thing to impress, but because you both care about each other. ... Okay. You guys are my only friends though... The only people that didn't immediately shun me... Well, you're getting better about being open, so give it another try with others, too. You might be surprised. ^^ I suppose. It's weird how I resigned myself to being alone. ... We should order though, right? Don't want to like hold up this table forever... Don't. It might not seem like it, but we all need someone to invest our love in... and yeah, really. I'm kinda hungry. ... Do you have someone you like? * Taki looks through the menu to avoid eye contact. Their 'giant rainbow' beef ramen is the best around. ^^ * Maya notes the avoidance, but shrugs it off. Is it spicy? I don't really like spicy stuff. Nope... it's a melange of flavors, hence the 'rainbow' part. It's really good! I guess I can try it... I had ice cream with Leena the other day, I can't mess up my diet anymore than I have already... ... oh, man. Did she practically shovel ice cream down your throat? ^^ No... She said she wasn't going to eat ice cream anymore. Until this was all over. I actually had to throw her leftover ice cream out. ... now I'm really worried. * Maya stares into her menu for a second. "... let's order." ^^; ... Yeah. Sorry, I didn't mean to make you worry about everything. ^^; It's my job. Sucks, doesn't it? ^^ Yeah, I suppose so. But if you like need any help, I'm always around. I need to learn how to be a leader sometime, right? I'll be more than willing to help. Deal? Okay. * Taki smiles a bit. ... Do you think I should talk to Sakura about... stuff? It might be best to do so when you're ready, if only to get it off your chest. Don't go in with massive expectations... but do it if it'll make you feel more at peace with yourself. * Taki nods. I don't want her to treat me any differently though... I'm scared stuff'll change. Well, be on the level with her... hey, she might already kinda know. ... Are you saying you knew? Nuh-uh, but Sakura's pretty perceptive when it comes to people. Oh geez, maybe that's why she touched me the other day... That was unexpected and... nice. * Maya chuckles. "So, yeah. Give it a go. Nothing to lose." Alright... Thank you for listening. *blushes a bit more* Anytime, Taki. That's what I'm here for. Maybe you can tell me about kissing and that sort of stuff later... Since I guess I don't know very much at all. Can do, can do. ... but for now, food! Yeah. *orders one of those rainbow beef ramen thingies* * Maya smiles and orders as well. "... oh, for only a half hour to forget about everything..." [mini... something. Oh, yeah. END. YEAH.]