[23:02] [Eoi finds Shigeru sitting on a swing in an empty playground. [23:02] ] [23:02] Hey Shigeru. Didn't mean to interupt your quiet-time, but I wanted to make sure that Q-man and his goons didn't grab you. [23:03] * Shigeru sits there listlessly, staring at the ground. "Hey Eoi. They didn't." [23:04] Well.. uh.. sorry. I'll just stand over ... here and make sure they don't. [23:04] (Note: Shigeru's sensing *everything* right now. So whatever Eoi's thinking or feeling, he'd know.) [23:04] * Eoi walks a little ways away. [23:04] ( He's fairly glad he managed to catch up to Shigeru, he's wonder what the hell he is thinking and he's worried about Chelsea and wondered where she got to. ) [23:05] Eh. If you're not going away, you can have a seat, I guess. Swing's open. [23:05] Well.. thanks. [23:05] Chelsea'll be fine. I kinda figured she's try to follow me. [23:05] (she's -> she'd) [23:05] * Eoi looks at Shigeru. "How.. oh." [23:05] ( He's a bit upset now. ) [23:06] * Shigeru glances at Eoi, then looks back at the ground. "Yeah, well, I've got to relax sometime, right? Keeping it all under tight control..." He gestures vaguely. "You wouldn't understand." [23:07] So.. you have to fight to keep it under control? .. Wow.. that must suck. [23:08] Sure. Y'think I go around and rip minds apart for fun? If I get angry or something, I might... [23:08] * Shigeru shrugs. [23:09] ... so it's like a reflex out of anger or something? [23:09] It's like... huh. [23:11] Like, when you feel helpless, or you're so angry you could hurt someone, or you get so emotional that you might lose control... Or a lot of other things, really. [23:11] ... Might explain why those S-types don't do it. They're like.. puppets or something. [23:12] Maybe. They just follow orders. [23:13] * Shigeru winces and puts his hand to his forehead, half tangling his fingers in his hair. "But it's wrong. Go on, say it." [23:14] ... it is. I mean.. destroying a soul. That's a horrible power.. [23:15] Yeah. And it doesn't matter why it's used, right? They're robbed of everything they have, even if they don't know they have it. [23:16] * Eoi nods. "That is the one thing that lives after death. To.. destroy is... I have trouble believing there is such a horrible power." [23:17] * Shigeru shrugs. "Believe it." His eyes unfocus. "'Cause I found out the hard way." [23:17] Chelsea, she knew... so'd Calvin, Hikaru, and Vicki. They found out in Heaven, when I got sentenced to death. I thought I was getting off easy, y'know. [23:18] ... That was when they made you blind, wasn't it? What happened? [23:18] In Heaven, or when I did it? [23:18] In Heaven. [23:19] To me... Dom called me for my crimes. [23:19] * Shigeru laughs bitterly. "I had a nice, long track record. I've helped steal, I helped break into an apartment building. I've broken one mind and tried to break another. I destroyed a soul. And... other things, I'm sure, that he didn't bring up." [23:21] And, y'know, all that really happened was they felt sorry for me. Hikaru looked disgusted, but everyone else... [23:21] * Shigeru shrugs. "They don't understand, really. 'Specially Chelsea." [23:23] ( Keep goin' in here :P ) [23:23] (I figured. :P) [23:24] * Eoi swings back and forth a bit. "You.. don't seem like a bad person tho'. Even if you did all this bad stuff..." [23:24] So? [23:25] * Shigeru looks up at Eoi. "Even knowing what I know now, even *not* being a child anymore, I think I'd do it again." [23:25] ... [23:25] I'm pretty sure I would. I relive it every night, and I think I would. [23:26] I don't know what I'm supposed to say or do. I really don't. Destroying a soul.. no matter how evil.. goes against everything I believe in. [23:26] Yeah, it does, doesn't it. It goes against everything I believe in, too. But I can do it, and I've done it. I- [23:27] * Shigeru winces and lowers his voice. "In the warehouse, I... it was..." [23:29] The man... he already shot Mei-Yin. I knew it might happen, but I thought just this once... she was saved, somehow. And then- and then he was going to shoot Chelsea, and I knew it was going to happen, and you... [23:29] ( Eoi's slightly confused about who this Mei-Yin is. ) [23:30] * Shigeru looks down at the ground and half-whispers, "I couldn't have you kill me, Eoi. I couldn't let you do it. I'd hate myself first. I'd have *you* hate me first." [23:31] ... [23:31] You find yourself completely helpless, except for maybe, possibly, that one little thing you promised you'd never do. [23:34] And it left you with two choices. Watch your best friend die or destroy that man utterly. .. As much as I hate saying it, I have no idea what I'd do in the same situation. I'd like to say I'd be brave and let my friend die and follow my principles, but.. [23:34] * Shigeru shakes his head. "Three choices." [23:34] ... or die. [23:35] No, Eoi. You don't understand. Not really. [23:35] I'm sorry. I guess I just can't understand. [23:35] I'd die, yeah. But the worst part about it is you'd be the one that would have killed me. [23:36] I couldn't have done that. That is why I didn't mention it.. [23:36] We've... God, we've killed lots of people, haven't we? Directly or indirectly. But to kill your friend... do you know what that would feel like? It's that last little... [23:37] * Shigeru gestures vaguely. "Innocence, I guess. And maybe, maybe not. You don't need to answer that question, do you?" [23:37] * Eoi looks down at the ground. "..." [23:38] In Heaven, I was sentenced to death. Treasa showed up and overruled it. [23:38] She told me to pick my own punishment. [23:38] Couldn't you have asked them to.. like.. take away that soul destroying thing instead? [23:38] Take it away? [23:39] * Shigeru laughs. He laughs long, and loud, and hard. [23:39] * Eoi looks up and at Shigeru. "What's so funny?" [23:39] * Shigeru gasps for breath. "That's- that's the thing, Eoi." [23:39] Taking it away... it wouldn't have been a punishment. It would have been what I always wanted. [23:40] ... [23:42] Like taking away my powers. All of them. It must be nice, just to sit and relax and not worry about accidentally ruining someone. [23:44] Maybe we can find someone who can help you control it or somethin, so you won't do it by accident. [23:45] * Shigeru snorts. [23:45] It doesn't matter. The option's always *there*. [23:46] ( Bah. Chizuru can cook you up a cure eventually, I'm sure :P ) [23:46] (Yeah, but it'll cost me my sanity. ^^) [23:46] (Just ask Eoi!) [23:46] * Eoi looks back down at the ground. [23:46] ( Hey, Eoi was insane LONG before he ate that stuff. ) [23:47] * Shigeru looks at Eoi for a moment, then pushes himself forward, setting the swing in slight motion. [23:48] You shouldn't feel sorry for me. You shouldn't even like me, really, because I can and do do horrible things. If you want to yell at me, go right ahead. You've held yourself back before. [23:49] * Shigeru chuckles. "Chelsea's not here to put a dagger in your eye for doing it, too." [23:49] * Eoi shakes his head. "Would it help anything?" [23:49] * Eoi chuckles too. "My eye? I always figured she'd go for something more painful, like a gut shot." [23:49] It might. And if Chelsea wants to stop an immediate threat, she'd go for the eye. [23:53] * Eoi takes a breath. "Damn it. I'd like to yell, but.. I don't know. I guess I'm just not angry enough." [23:54] * Shigeru nods. "Yeah, I kn- figured. I figured." He swings a bit more. [23:55] I'm angry, and I'm upset and I'm confused. I just wish I knew what to do. [23:56] There isn't anything you can do, really, except live with it. I thought about killing myself a few times, but... it was always an easy way out. God help me, it's too good for me. [23:58] ... [23:59] ( Crap, I'm gonna have to go soon. ) [23:59] * Shigeru halts his swing. "So, you know. Sorry to do this to you." [00:00] ( It can end whenever. ) [00:01] (Kirby, Jackie Chan, and Squall! :P) [00:01] * Eoi nods. "I can't say I like it. I'll never be able to say that. I.. guess I would have been happier never knowing about it. I'll leave you to your private time. Sorry I bothered you. [00:02] By it, I mean the soul-destroying thing, not the reasons behind it. [00:02] * Eoi gives a forced smile, stands up and walks off. "I'll be somewhere in the next block if trouble arises. See you later." [00:03] * Shigeru closes his eyes and sighs. "Well. If I liked it, I'd be even more of a monster, wouldn't I." [00:03] * Shigeru waves half-heartedly. "Later." [00:04] [Session End]