<Brett> [Day: Thursday, July 1st.  Time: 9:30 p.m.]
<Brett> [Off you go! Go to see Moe! Man, this Castlevania music's rockin'.]
<Brett> [Moe's shop is there.  It a shop where you can buy equipment for 
fighting supernaturals (though mostly werewolves and vampires).  He sells silver 
bullets, stakes, and even crucifixes.  And stuff like that there.]
<Brett> [And that's where you are!]
<Brett> [Start!]
* Moe is there too.
* Lazie walks into the shop, wearing one of Chie's light jackets, and carrying 
her back. He approaches the counter, speaking in Hungarian. "You're Moe, I 
assume?"
<Lazie> ( Gotta pretend I don't know him, because explaining the body swap would 
take WAY too long. =P )
* Moe replies, also in Hungarian, "Yeah, that's me. Moe Banana.... don't ask."
<Moe> "So, what are you in the market for, ma'am? Holy water? Silver bullets?"
<Lazie> I won't. I'm... a friend of Lazar Thau. Big guy, long hair, from the 
mother country?
<Lazie> We've run into a problem of the vampiric sort.
<Moe> Oh, that guy? Yeah, I see him around sometimes... er, what kinda problem?
<Moe> I got two crates of garlic in the back.
<Lazie> Gonna require more'n garlic... me, him and some friends got attacked by 
one. We think Lazar's caught it.
<Moe> You mean he got bit?
* Lazie nods. "His best guess is has 24 hours."
<Moe> Ouch.
* Lazie nods sadly. "So, first off, he sent me to pick up some stakes and a 
cross, 'cause things could get ugly. But the main reason..."
* Moe folds his arms. He's kind of a stout fellow, with unkempt hair and a bushy 
beard and mustache. "Hmmm..."
<Moe> You want a cure.
<Lazie> Yeah. He knows some of the legends... killing the biting vampyre might 
help, might not, but finding her's gonna be a bitch.
<Moe> Yeah....
* Lazie scowls. "Plus, she knows that mist trick. Hate that one."
* Moe sighs and shakes his head. "Hate to say it, but curing vampirism is never 
easy."
<Lazie> Didn't figure it would be. We got some friends looking into it now, 
but... well, Lazar figured asking you couldn't hurt.
<Moe> Hmmm...
<Moe> Well, there's three solutions that immediately come to mind.
<Ardweden> (Here they come. ;P)
<Moe> First, like you said, kill the vampire who bit him before it's too late.
<Moe> Second, have someone who cares deeply for him give up his life to save 
him.
<Moe> And third, give him a quick merciful death before he joins the undead.
* Lazie falls silent for a moment, then sighs. "Yeah, that's what I heard too."
<Lazie> Second ain't an option... I... Lazar wouldn't let anyone do that for 
him. Plus he ain't really got anyone. Third he's willing to do if nothing else 
works... s'why I'm getting the stakes and the cross...
<Moe> I figured.
<Moe> Sometimes, though, there are other ways.  I mean, those are just the ones 
that happened... well, more than once.
<Lazie> And the first... s'complicated too. Vampyre in question is one of those 
supposedly 'good' vampyres... except she came down with a case of blood lust and 
tried to chomp down on people she knew.
* Lazie scowls. "And the people she knew are stupid, and don't want her staked."
<Moe> That's the thing with vampires... Vampirism isn't necessarily evil in 
itself, but they need blood to live... er... not live... something.
<Moe> And when they don't get it, that happens.  It's not so different with 
humans, really. Starve a human for a week, set him in a room with another, watch 
how quickly he turns into a canibal.
<Moe> Difference being, humans aren't limited to eating other humans.
* Lazie nods. "It's ugly all around." *pauses* "You were saying about less 
reliable cures?"
<Moe> Hmm... Well, just some stories.
<Lazie> At this point, I'll take anything.
<Moe> Like in the Middle Ages, a knight was bitten by a vampire, but by 
accomplishing a mission before he was turned, God cured him.
<Moe> And a wizard was bitten, but he... well, turned himself into a lich before 
he could become a vampire.
<Moe> Also, an alchemist was able to transfer his soul into a homonculus, and 
avoid the problem that way.
* Lazie gapes for a moment, then rubs his temples. "I see what you were saying 
about 'less reliable'. Oy..."
<Moe> Like I said.
<Lazie> So, pretty much, his only choices are to kill the vampyre that bit him, 
or stake himself before it's too late?
<Moe> There is something that comes to mind... But I don't think Lazar would go 
for it.  I can hardly believe I'm saying it myself.
<Lazie> Say it. I... we're desperate.
<Moe> You could make a deal with the devil.
<Lazie> ... which one?
<Lazie> ( We've met several. =P )
* Moe blinks at that, but shakes his head. "One who's capable of doing such a 
thing. Satan, Lucifer, Asmodeus, Beezelbub... A lot of demon lords would be able 
to do it. The problem is, you know their price won't be cheap."
<Lazie> ... 'course not. Soul, eternal servitude in the service of evil... doubt 
Lazar would go for it.
* Moe nods. "I didn't think so."
<Moe> Maybe... you could turn to a pagan god.
* Lazie frowns. "Still... we've got a friend who knows that kinda stuff. Worth 
at least looking into... see if they're having a sale on cures in Hell." *grins 
weakly*
<Moe> Gods are like demons, except... How can I put this? They're less likely to 
help, but more likely to not trick you.
<Moe> And one other, there's a very hard cure to obtain.
* Lazie nods. "Again, worth looking into... better to be in debt to a god than a 
demon. Probably." *pauses* "Yeah?"
<Moe> Assuming you can even track it down through the black market, it'd run you 
a fortune, but it's a possibility.
<Moe> Yeah, an alchemist discovered it... oh, three to four hundred years ago.
<Lazie> Don't suppose the formula is commonly available. *rubs neck*
<Moe> Actually, I have a copy of it right here.
<Moe> It's the ingredients that are hard to get.
<Lazie> How hard?
<Moe> Most of them are expensive, but if you look through the right channels in 
the black market, they're available readily.
<Moe> But there's two that aren't so easy to get.
<Lazie> ... yeah?
* Moe pulls out a list and looks at it. "Yeah, the first one here is a bone from 
a... God, how do you even pronounce this?"
<Moe> Pow-sckow?
<Moe> Pa-ox-ow?
<Lazie> 2d6-3
* Dicesuke throws the bones for Lazie (2d6-3) and gets 2.
<Lazie> ... Lazar killed one of those. In China.
<Lazie> Used it in a poison cure.
<Moe> Oh? Well, that's good. Hope you still have some of the bones.
<Moe> Says here that the bones of the ... whatever it is, are highly useful in a 
variety of unusual medicines.
<Lazie> Don't have it, but I might know someone who still has some, or can get 
it.
<Lazie> What's the other?
* Moe nods. "That's good. The other..."
* Moe reads and winces. "The other costs enough to bankrupt a small country."
<Moe> Nectar. But not just any nectar. Nectar of the Gods.
<Moe> Says here it costs somewhere around 800 billion U.S. dollars.
<Lazie> ... well that sounds easy enough to get. *rubs bridge of nose*
<Moe> Assuming you can find it.
* Moe holds up a hand, not taking his eyes from the paper. "Now, hold on. That's 
only if you buy it."
<Moe> You can get it another way: By earning it.
<Lazie> ... what would Lazar have to do?
<Moe> Says here... First you have to get in touch with Zeus, or a Greek god.
<Moe> You have to present a gift, do one favor of their choosing, and undergo 
three trials.
<Moe> And then, either Zeus gives you the Nectar or the god you met tries to 
steal it from him.
<Lazie> ... oy.
<Moe> There's a footnote, though, the gods who aren't Zeus will probably go 
easier on the trials for you, but their favors will be larger.
<Lazie> Because they're taking more of a risk in helping me out, and crossing 
Zeus.
* Moe finally looks up. "Still, it's probably more likely you can get the nectar 
from them than by asking some other god to cure you outright."
* Moe shrugs. "Eh, it wouldn't be the first time. Zeus gets crossed and 
doublecrossed all the time."
<Moe> The bigger problem is if they get caught.
<Lazie> And Zeus gets mad.
<Moe> Which means no nectar for you.
<Lazie> And maybe a thunderbolt.
<Moe> Well, you could contact Zeus himself.
<Lazie> ... though it wouldn't matter, 'cause at that point Lazar'd just stake 
himself. *shakes head*
<Moe> But his trials are harder, and he's a horny bastard.
<Lazie> ... that could present issues with Lazar.. *coughs*
<Moe> I don't think Lazar would have to worry about it, miss.  It's more your 
problem than his.
<Lazie> Why d'ya say that?
<Moe> He's slept with a number of human women. Look at all the half-gods he 
fathered.
<Lazie> Yeah, but it's gonna be Lazar going through the trial. And I dunno if 
Lazar is Zeus' type.
<Moe> On the other hand, just about every other Greek god is a pain to deal 
with, too, so... pick your poison, I guess.
* Lazie blinks, the looks down at himself, then curses under his breath in 
Yiddish.
<Moe> In that case, he might be harsher on Lazar, since he wouldn't think -- or 
want -- Lazar to sleep with him after the trials were over.
* Lazie regains his composure, and nods. "Got a favorite Greek god you'd 
recommend asking?"
<Moe> Depends on what you want to deal with, really.
<Moe> Dionysus, if you think you could handle a god who's constantly drunk.
<Moe> Ares would probably have you battle a country or something...
<Moe> Aphrodite... Uh, Lazar doesn't strike me as the pimpin' type.
<Lazie> ... no. No he doesn't.
<Moe> Hera, but what she'll do depends entirely on her husband; she likes to 
piss him off.
<Moe> Athena might work. I'm not sure what she'd have you do. Probably tell you 
to make peace with your worst enemy or something.
<Lazie> ... making peace with Dracula would be an issue for Lazar.
<Ardweden> (Artemis would have you chop down the largest tree in the forest with 
a herring. :P)
<Moe> I don't know about that... Athena seeks to end wars, where as Ares seeks 
to make them.  But making peace with Dracula wouldn't end anything.
<Moe> Artemis or Demeter, if you like nature.
<Moe> Posidon, if you like fish.
<Moe> Hermes... I don't know what he'd have you do.
<Moe> Hades, Hephestus, Pan... I don't know, no matter who you pick, you're 
going to be stuck doing something to their liking.
* Lazie nods. "If it were easy, it wouldn't be the *curse* of vampirism, right?"
<Moe> Right.
* Lazie sighs. "Right... could I get a copy of that recipe? And two stakes and a 
cross? Just in case..."
<Moe> Sure, I'll make you a copy quick.
* Moe takes the document and flips it onto a copy machine. After a few minutes 
of operating the machine by... Ahem, somehow, Lazar gets a copy.
<Lazie> One other question... you know any reliable way to track a vampyre?
<Moe> ( Ok, now that I look at that, it just looks wierd. )
<Moe> Follow the trail of victims.
<Lazie> *nods* Thanks. Worst case scenerio... Lazar doesn't wanna stake the 
vampyre, 'cause it'd piss some of his friends off... but he doesn't wanna be 
undead, either.
* Lazie takes the copy. (What about the stakes and cross?)
* Moe nods. "I guess faced with those options, pimpin' ain't so bad, either, 
eh?"
* Moe goes to a back room and returns with an armful of stakes and a crucifix. 
"Oh yeah, you wanted these, too. Anything else? Holy water or garlic, maybe?"
<Lazie> Nah. She's too powerful for garlic, and... well, Lazar never liked holy 
water. *chuckles*
* Moe shrugs, "Eh, what can you do... Did you know Jesus Christ was a vampire 
hunter? Some of his lesser known "miracles" were the extermination of vampires."
<Moe> So whether holy water is actually holy because it's blessed by God or 
burns vampires because of the way it's made is open to debate, I guess.
* Lazie nods. "I think Lazar said he just felt silly throwing water at people."
<Moe> I sell Super-Soakers, too.
<Lazie> ... if Lazar survives this, he'll be bringing some of our friends by to 
stock up. We were just about to head to Transylvania when this all happened.
<Moe> Transylvania?! Gah! Most people are trying to get out of there, not go to 
it!
* Lazie grins. "We're dumb that way."
<Lazie> What do I owe you for the stakes'n cross?
<Moe> 1500 yen. I'll throw in the cross free.
* Lazie pulls some money (from his account =P) from a pocket, and hands it to 
the guy. "Thanks for all the help."
<Moe> Sure.  Tell Lazar I said good luck, too.
* Lazie nods. "He'll appreciate it. I can guarantee that."
<Brett> [Session End!]