[It's Jamie's dream of ... well her room. It's easy to tell this isn't reality because in reality Luana would be a lot more than just her smell and the sound of her breathing coming from the top bunk. Jamie, herself, has at least something of a physical presance but it's not well defined. Cont] [She has a head, and two arms, with hands that seem to be in the sharpest focus, but her legs are blurry and there's no real defined feet. She's curled up on her bed listening to both the counting and the TV in the rec room where peresumably somebody is watching commercials back in the real world. Begin.] ('the counting'?) (The ones and zeros of most computers running loops and incrementing them until some condition is met, it's the equivelent of telepathic white noise for her.) (Aha.) * Keiko fades in at the edge of the room, slightly ghostly. A single blue ribbon has become part of this astral image as she looks around, drifting towards Jamie. She murmurs to herself, "Noisy..." * Jamie turn her head to the source of the sound. "Wh. Who's there?" * Keiko waves and manages to paste a smile on her ghostly face. "It's just me, Keiko." She purses her lips a moment, then adds, "Wanna let me in?" * Jamie 's still doesn't comprehend the choice she's being given, but aquesses anyway. * Keiko becomes more solid, but without any sort of sense input for Jamie's senses but visual. She still floats over, though, before asking, "A very basic dream..." and then closes her eyes and adds, "... and Luana." * Jamie looks up at the bottom of Luana's bed. "She's loud." * Keiko smiles a little and says, "I... think so too." Beat, then, "In my own way." She pulls her legs up to sit on air, half-lotus. "So... I'm here... because Rose asked me to figure out why you were writing those stories using Luana's computer." (s/Rose/Roseli.) * Jamie looks away from Keiko and as her gaze falls upon her own body it takes on more definition and a simple white gown. "I don't know. I don't." * Keiko replies slowly, "Neither does anyone else. But... we can try to figure it out." A moment, then, "It's a little confusing to me too... how could you form writing thoughts so coherently in your sleep..." Am... am I not supposed to? * Keiko gestures outward. "Generally... people can't read in their dreams. They just think they're reading." I can't imagine writing whole stories without reading them at least a little. * Jamie nods. "I... can you tell if..." She points at her head. "Anyone else is here?" * Keiko nods slowly and says, "We can look." A weak smile. "But having Luana around... is a little distracing to me." She licks her lips as the room begins to disappear, being replaced by scentless black, blue and white flowers radiating out from Keiko's position, taking the room into nonexistance. (How big are these flowes?) (Normal ground flowers. No more than a foot.) * Jamie goes from sitting on her bed to sitting in a field of flowers. She asks nerviously "What... what should I do?" * Keiko floats down into the flowers and says quietly, "I was just getting rid of the distractions. This place is simple and shouldn't change enough to hurt you if... anyway." She sucks in a lip, then adds, "Let's... look around." She starts to use basic telepathy on Jamie's mind, to try to find something to start looking at. (Sadly if there's a clue to be found we're going to have to ask Brett what it is, I've got a guess as to what happened, but I don't know for sure.) (There isn't.) (But this is your chance to throw things at Keiko to explore!) (True!) (Otherwise, she'll just go into discussing the Tenhole.) (Well, where do we have for Keiko to go... Jamie's massivly sur/repressed sexual desires, how much of her powers function in her sleep, the other holes in her mind, and how to function as a human being.) (The first three seem on point, and the fourth is overarching.) (Also, the idea of Keiko giving Jamie romantic/sexual advice is hilarious.) (Interesting, but hilarious.) * Jamie 's mind is a very interesting and broken place, many of the emotions that were cleanly broken off with the Ten personality are showing signs of a tiny bit of regrowth, others are not, and there is no escaping the white noise of the counting. * Keiko murmurs quietly, "Better... and even asleep, it is like your computer sense is still on..." * Jamie looks at Keiko and asks softly. "Is... Is it different for you?" * Keiko looks to Jamie and says slowly, "Most people... their senses are on, but sorta cut off from them. It's not that impossible, it's just... weird. It'd be like seeing two things at once..." she trails off and murmurs, "... okay, I guess that's not so weird." * Keiko then shakes her head and looks back to Jamie. "You can shine bright lights into peoples' eyes when they're asleep and they can see 'em in their dreams. Stuff like that. Anyway..." (And I assume no obvious third persona.) (Not that I know about!) * Keiko then says quietly, "I don't see anyone else in your head. Just you." Oh. * Keiko is silent a moment, then says, "It could be side effects from the Ten trau--" Keiko suddenly disappears. It takes her about fifteen seconds or so before she reappears and finishes, "Ten trauma. You... still haven't healed." She then looks down at the field. ( Speaking of trauma, Trauma Center 2 is supposed to be out, but it wasn't at Gamestop when I checked. ) (Horray for vurtual surgery!) * Keiko then murmurs, to herself, "But they existed before Ten didn't, I think. Maybe older." * Jamie nods. "I..." She stops and twists uncomfortably while trying to have thoughts that her conditioning won't let her complete and finaly manages to finish with. "Don't remember anything before." * Keiko looks shocked, then says, "Before when?" * Jamie twists some more. "M my first memory is a headache and The Pr... Ma... his voice." * Keiko is silent a moment, then relaxes and says quietly, "Before him." * Jamie nods, releaved at having managed to get her point across. * Keiko mms, then says slowly, "I'm... I don't know if this will help why Rose sent me in, but helping clean you up--" she cuts her off and rephrases "--help you heal can only make this easier next time." ( Next time your psyche gets destroyed. ) (Weekly psyche destruction party!) (Horry! That'll be the third time it's been destroyed and rewritten... Well maybe two and a half.) * Jamie nods slightly. * Keiko nods back at her, and then presses harder into one of the pieces of shrapnel, the field of flowers starting to warp into... something more related to Jamie's mind. But what? (Going after a lost emotion or a memory or just a void at random?) (More or less at random. As she tries to figure out what they really are, as part of her dream-telepathy, the dream has to shift.) (I'm so tempted to drop you into pit of Ten's rightous outrage, but I think I'll go with something a bit healthier for both of us.) (Snerk. Whicever!) [The world warps, and for the most part vanishes from vision, but it's warm and fragments of voices can be heard. Keiko can recognise Rose as the most common voice, followed by Ten, an unknown man, even a few words from herself. While none of the fragments are complete, their tone is one of comfort and praise, even Ten's.] * Keiko watches the world disappear and floats cloer to Jamie as she murmurs, "Good things?" * Jamie stands up, or at least floats into a vertical position and looks confused and a little overwhelmed. "I... I... when did this? She never... I don't I. didn't deserve..." * Keiko is silent a moment, listening to Jamie's confusion, then murmurs, "Why not? You helped stop some terrorists, you helped save me... you've done a lot of things that weren't half bad." ( On the other hand, you shot that guy in cold blood. ) (He totaly deserved it!) * Jamie looks at Keiko and pleads. "But I'm not the one who can be... It's... She... Only the bad things are me." * Keiko looks at her a moment, then manages a weak smile and replies, "So saving me was doing a bad thing? Made of bad things?" ( Depends on who you ask! ) (Certainly true!) * Jamie shakes her head. "No, noooo." * Keiko then finishes, "So... I guess you're not all bad things?" I'm not... It's. I can't be everything. There's too much. I can't. * Keiko frowns at her and says, "Nobody's gets to be everything. You were just saying you couldn't even be anything good." I can't! I shouldn't! She... * Jamie winces but manages to continue on. "I'm not the one who's supposed to get praised!" * Keiko frowns a bit, and then says, "Ten isn't here to take the praise either, Jamie." ( She's in the Bahamas. ) I know! And it's wrong! I shouldn't get angry! But I am! This is! I can't be her and I can't be me! Tell me! Tell me who I'm supposed to be!! * Keiko replies, "No, that... is right. That is you. You're really both of you." (Gah, this is hard to type out even incoherently. I've got three sets of orders binding her thinking. The third one says the second doesn't exist but set two is habbit and existance and set one says submissive to everything. x_x) (Fun times!) (Unfortunately, Brett would almost certainly not let me rip out orders with telepathy.) ( Joo better believe it. ) (Not even ones that wern't given by Blitzkrieg staff?) (Blitzkrieg's is chemical based. The others, uh, I don't even know about them.) * Jamie grabs her head with both hands. "I can't be both of me! I'm one of me! She... can't be anymore. I can't be her!" (Shumacher's mostly abuse based and Ten's orders are based on Hotaru being insane and divine order and all that.) ( That's fixable if Keiko really wants to go so far as to alter Jamie's mind. ) (So, conceptually, I might be able to hack away those two.) (Yep) * Keiko frowns and then puts her hand to Jamie's head and asks slowly as she starts to move to a different part of her mind, searching as she asks, "Why... can't you be like her? Why can't you have emotions?" [The mind scape goes compleatly dark and bitterly cold, the only thing that can be heard is an echo of Ten's voice giving orders, commanding, demanding, scolding, and chastising. Or at least that's their tone, the words themselves have become meaningless syllables. Jamie curles up under Keiko's hand.] * Keiko listens/feels the voice a moment, then says, "She's dead, Jamie. Just like the shadow Jamie could make decisions... she can have emotions too. So can you." * Keiko starts to tune down the Ten voice, reinforcing, "She's gone now, Jamie." * Jamie doesn't lift her head. "No. It's wrong." * Keiko frowns and continues sifting through the mind. "Why is it wrong? Even Rosali has emotions." * Jamie speaks again, flatly and without a trace of the previouse anger. "I'm not her. She says be me, you say be all of me... the only one who who told me how to be is gone and I can't belive her anymore, but I don't know any other way to be and it hurts." * Keiko is silent a long moment, and then says quietly, "You're right. It's not fair to just tell you to be you when you was cut in half." The field of flowers slowly asserts itself. * Jamie relaxes a bit, and sniffles. * Keiko then looks to her and says quietly, looking to her eyes, "But Jamie, if you have an emotion, I want you to just have it. If you feel an emotion, it's yours. Whose else would it be, right?" Beat. "Can you do that?" * Jamie lifts her head to look at Keiko. "I. I don't. Don't know. Maybe." * Keiko smiles a bit and says quietly, as she presses into her mind again, "What makes you feel emotions..." (Give me a sec to think of a recent strong emotional even that isn't Ten dies, because that's going to result in bad ends for both of us.) (Ha.) (Ah, got an obvious one.) (Although, hmm. If Jamie does something involving Keikavision, would Keiko percieve that or would she just get normal sensory input + emotions?) (Conceptually, she'd percieve it, but it might give her a headache.) (Like the computer sense.) (Okay.) [Welcome to a real memory of the assault a few days ago compleate with far too loud gunfire and a dizzying six points of view surrounding the giant turtle mech. One of which is watching memory Keiko climb the side of the mech. Most of Jamie's concentration is taken up by fighting the turtle mechs' security systems and the incredibly annoying and frustrating entity that keeps turning them back on.] * Keiko , not the real one, reels for a moment saying, "Wh--nnh--" and puts her hand to the ground. "Sure, give me more to sift through..." she trails off and takes a few long moments before replying slowly, "Not happy with her, are you?" * Jamie shakes her head. "She... I wanted it to stop turning on, and it wouldn't. Over and over." * Keiko nods and says slowly, "That's okay to be unhappy at her. People you're in conflict with... that's how most people feel." Did that bother you? After... I'm not supposed to feel like this. * Keiko frowns. "Who says that? Who tells you that your emotions aren't yours?" * Keiko stands slowly. "The man? He's worthless. Ten? She's gone." It's... how it's always been. * Keiko looks at her for a moment, then shakes her head slowly and says, "No, it's how it was after the man and Ten did things to you." You had to be like a normal girl once. We all were. * Jamie shakes her head and the fight going on around them stops. * Keiko says slowly, looking to Jamie, "These were normal emotions... if you can feel them, nobody should take them away from you." * Jamie looks away from Keiko. "I'm not normal, I shouldn't have them." * Keiko hovers around in front of Jamie. "None of us is normal anymore, dammit, but... you can have emotions. I know you can." I can feel them. They're there. Then get rid of them! I don't want them! I do... * Jamie 's eyes widen in horror as she slaps her hands across her mouth and drops to her knees. (What just hit her?) * Keiko drops into half-lotus immediately, sticking to eye-level with her. * Keiko says quietly, "See? You want things." (One of Ten's big commands. Remember the first time you wandered into her head and she went off about not being able to want?) (Nod.) (I figured, but was just making sure.) (I think KEiko's about to rip that out.) (That offends her on a primal level.) (That'll make Rose's planned shopping trip interesting.) * Jamie rocks from side to side but doesn't respond with anything but a wave of regret. * Keiko looks at her a moment, reasserting the flowers, and then her face twists as she mutters, "This is wrong." A moment, then she extends a hand and says, "Come here, Jamie." * Jamie slowly gets back to her feet and stands in front of Keiko, not taking the offered hand. * Keiko frowns and says, "Sit down." * Jamie lets her knees buckle, but it's much more controlled than a few moments ago. * Keiko reaches over to her and says slowly, "I want to see... where in that mind of yours you're not allowed to want..." * Keiko presses in with the telepathy. This... could look very ugly. [You're back in the area with the Ten voices, only with your telepathy and without Rose's orders to stop beliving in the words they actualy make sense. Most of them have to do with beliving in Ten, over and over. Belive in Ten, belive in ME that is your entire reason to exist, you will do nothing that is not to that end. You have no wants and no needs other than Ten. All your pain, all your suffering is for Ten.] (I kinda want to grab dicy and make a mind attack on your walking into that.) (Ha.) (Mind shield would be up in a second, though, and then it'd just be a rollstorm.) (Doesn't Mind Shield basicaly shut down mental combat?) (It just provides 10 armor.) (Which is more than most people can possibly dish out without buying massive damage.) (Yeah, I can't hurt you through that.) * Keiko lets out a sharp gasp of pain and shock, before spitting out, "Damn horrible construct!" She then stands up, ribbon disappearing from her hair and four bracelets/anklets joining her collar as she yells, "Show yourself, ghost of Ten! It's time to let go of Jamie!" (I'm uh... not sure that's (meta)physicaly possible right now.) (Snicker.) (Because of Rose's order?) (Yeah.) (Maybe it has the same Jamieshield. She exists, but Jamie can't percieve her.) (Possibly, but for her to be anything but a memory some part of Jamie would have to able to defy the order not to belive in Ten.) (True enough.) (You're on the other side of that order right now, Jamie can't understand these words anymore, but she can't not follow most of the behavioral ones because she doesn't know any other way to act.) * Keiko grabs onto Jamie's wrist and looks around a moment, waiting for Ten to appear as she doesn't. * Jamie has her wrist grabbed and listens fearfully to the sound of Ten's voice. * Keiko says, lowly, to Jamie, "Help me out. Tell me something you want, Jamie. Open the hole I can take you out of here with." I... I. Don't know! I don't I don't I don't! * Keiko replies, "Yes, yes you do." She grits her teeth a moment at Ten's constant assault, then adds, "Chocolate. The other Hotaru to stop. A friend. I don't care. But you have them. Help me take you from the darkness." (*facepalms. Why'd you have to suggest that one first?) (Because Keiko knows that one intimately!) (Some things just stick in ones mind. >_> <_<) * Jamie thinks about chocolate, and the way it flows over her toung, first sweet, and then bitter, the way richness in her mouth and the wonderful smell. * Keiko smiles faintly and then glances around before saying, "Good. A start." She starts dialing back the Ten voice, but not in the dream representation, but the underlying mind. Isolating and muting the constant voice. "Keep your mind on it, Jamie. Things you want. Things you can feel." * Jamie gets more specific in her chocolate eating memories, the box of truffles that Rose gave her and how each and every one of them tasted, how they melted and ran and played in her mouth, each delightful one a new experience. (And I swear the next one's going to be [Insert chocolate pr0n here.) (Ha ha.) (Do you want one more Jamie 'want' pose, or should Keiko finish the sealing?) (Threes are traditional.) (I thought so as well!) * Keiko shudders a bit, gritting her teeth as the voice gets pushed down more, and she mutters, "So abusive... but I'm not yours, Ten. And neither are Jamie's wants and feelings. Just a bit more, Jamie. Keep holding onto wanting." * Keiko 's duck appears in her free hand, which Keiko pushes out in front of her. * Jamie 's next round of cocoa flavored euphamisms is about the dark chocolates that Keiko gave her. * Keiko half-smiles and shudders, eyes closing, before saying quietly, "A good choice." And then her eyes snap open and she takes a step forward with Jamie, pushing Ten's berating voice down past a murmur, into silence. * Keiko then is silent a moment before saying quietly, "I think it's... sealed." She bites her lip. * Jamie turns her head wareily. "I... can't hear her anymore." * Keiko looks over at Jamie and smiles faintly, before she reshapes the dream again... back to the flowers. She asks quietly, "Does it feel better to want now?" * Jamie looks bewildered. "I... don't know. I'm... I can't hear, but I... I... I'm hungry." (I'm half tempted to call it here, by saying Jamie tries to wake up and eat chocolate.) (Ha.) (If you do that, let me get in a last pose by Keiko.) (Go ahead.) * Keiko replies in the dream, with a weak smile, "Hungry is good, Jamie. Just don't overdo it." A moment, then she adds, "Listen to yourself. We'll... find out if it really worked later..." and then she herself wavers in the dream. * Jamie wakes up into the partial darkness of her and Luana's room and reaches for her stash of chocolates, because, well, she wants one. [End]