[Same day, after Togo talked to Luana about being a big spy!] [It's Keiko's room, now, much like the others. She's laying back on her bed with the lights on, staring up at the ceiling. At least on the outside. Her duck is on her stomach and she's petting it very idly with one finger. There's an interruption coming, and she probably knows it.] [Mini start!] * Luana runs down the hall and nearly falls over in an effort to stop short in front of Keiko's door. ~Keiko, are you in there? Can I come in?~ She's not just happy, she's actively -thrilled-. * Keiko is doing all those things the box text said. Her coat and dress are still on, and her hair's splayed out on the bed too. Face is washed clean of anything that might have once been makeup, too. She licks her lips after the thought, then the door clucks unlocked as she thinks at Luana, ~Um... yeah. Go ahead.~ * Luana shoves open the door as soon as she gets permission and bounds inside, closing the door behind her. She's beaming and her face is slightly damp, including along her hairline on her forehead. "Togo said you can come with us! Do you want to? Say yes!" * Keiko sits up a moment to look at her, bites her lip, then says, "I'm... guessing the talk went well. Kinda. Come with you at what?" Oh, well, I cried at lot at first, but then Togo said he wouldn't throw me away and that he had been training me so I could keep working with him and I'm his partner now and not his ward! And so when all this is done if we're all okay I'm going to go live with him, and you should live with us too! * Luana looks like she can barely keep from spinning around in circles. As it is, she's bouncing slightly on the balls of her feet. * Keiko can't help but smile a little at that. "Sounds... nice for you, really." She looks down a moment, then says, "It's... I would say it's a little early to think about that, but I guess we don't have much time left." * Keiko then looks back at her, smiling again. "I can't help but smile, when you feel like that, though." * Luana calms down slightly but continues grinning. "No, we have to stop the mind-control thing quickly. But once that's done and I know the twins are safe... well, anyway, I guess you don't have to come right away. You probably want to go see your mom first anyway, right?" * Keiko blushes and looks away. "I'm... I'm not sure, anymore." I... she's already taking care of one walking body. I don't... know I can go back and do that to her. Well, you could visit, and then just... come back. To me. * Keiko looks back up to Luana and squeezes her duck tightly a moment, holding it to her chest, then shakes her head and laughs weakly. "I..." she trails off, and it takes her a few to say, slowly, "I'm not sure I can walk away from you, Lu. I mean, even knowing you don't..." she trails off again. I can't even... wrap my head around it today. Not after all of this. * Luana 's smile dims further. "Oh, I- I'm sorry Keiko, of course you need time, and- you -should- be able to leave me, if you want to, and I'm so sorry I don't feel the same way..." * Luana adds quietly, "But if you do want to stay with me, there's always a place for you. Even if Togo had said no, I would have figured something out." * Keiko floats to her feet in a flash, a flurry of dress and coat and hair, and whispers, suddenly in Luana's face, "Stop." * Luana freezes. * Keiko then whispers softly, "Don't... don't let me dim you. You... you just got a real future, doing what you really... really want to do. Right things." * Keiko then shudders and adds, "I don't... think I want to feel you unhappy just because today was a nightmare for me." I told Togo and I'll tell you. The only three things that matter to me are you, him, and the twins. I wanted to help Germany to find my place and make the country better for my brother and sister. I like helping people. But all I want is to make my four most precious people happy. * Luana sits down on the bed and pats the spot next to her. "Come on, tell me all the things that upset you today and we'll figure out how to make them better." * Keiko looks after her, then walks over to the bed, sitting down carefully. After a moment she says quietly, "I'm... glad you have that personal perspective. Means I'm only competing with Togo and a pair of cute kids." She looks aside to her with a faint smile. "Piece of cake." * Luana beams. "The twins -are- adorable, aren't they? But they're little hellions. Greta said once that if the two of them hadn't been born lovely, Mom and Dad might have drowned them as babies." * Keiko replies, still smiling a little, "I am the one that painted them." She then looks away and says, "Are you sure? I... this is your moment of triumph. You're a real warrior now. I mean, if we hadn't just had Italian..." * Keiko rubs her face. "I'm sorry. I just... I know I would have been nothing but venom, so I left it to Togo." * Luana admits easily, "You're more important to me than I am. Go on, vent." * Keiko sighs. After a moment, she says softly, "I'm... Togo fooled me. Cyra fooled me. Grozvi fooled me. It's like I'm blind to everything I need to see coming. And how... how did I miss what the drugs were doing?" * Keiko puts her hand to her face. "It's as if I can't trust anything I see or feel anymore." (Which one's Grovzi?) (The head russian that kidnapped her. Luana may or may not know the name.) Grovzi? * Keiko starts, looking over to her, then says, "The man that kidnapped me, held me... from Russia." She wraps an arm around herself. "He found a way to make his mind seem real, but completely fake." * Luana says slowly, "Whenever I feel... inadequate, I work harder to get better. Or find a way to work around it. I kept getting hurt when I fought with Sebastian at close range, for example, and Togo told me to stand back and shoot from further away." * Keiko looks over at her and says, "So what would you do if everything you saw and heard was an illusion? How would you fight? How would you do... anything?" The way I see it, you could either work harder to develop your ability and be able to pierce those mental barriers, or you could... maybe you could learn how to read people through body language? And then when something doesn't mesh between their body and mind, you'd know something is wrong. * Keiko laughs weakly and puts her hand to Luana's shoulder. "I know how to read body language. I knew something was wrong." But how could I find out what? Cyra was an egg. Togo was noise. Grozvi was... I don't even know how. I don't know much about Grovzi, but Cyra fooled her own sister for years, and Togo always had our best interests at heart. What... do you mean by noise? * Keiko shakes her head. "Lu... look what happened because Cyra fooled me. Germany is on the edge of being destroyed." A weak laugh. "And I didn't even have a hand in it." We... are lucky with Togo, but... What could you have done with Cyra, even if you knew something was wrong? She would have just had them use more drugs on you. Your mind might have been completely wiped. * Keiko is silent a moment, then murmurs, "Maybe. Maybe not. I could have been looking for evidence that broke her." I'm the only one that can see like this. I can't afford to be blind. You can't trust me if I'm blind. * Keiko looks over at her and smiles weakly. "It'd be stupid to trust someone that didn't work." I still trust you. And anyway, that's what, three people our of everyone you've met? All of whom have more experience in hiding things than you do in finding them. * Keiko laughs weakly. "And I guess now I'll never catch up." * Luana says simply, "We'll kill them. Then it won't be difficult to catch up at all." * Keiko looks at her strangely, then puts her forehead to Luana's shoulder. After a moment she murmurs, "I'll... never get to be a mother, you know. Not now." Why not? * Keiko looks up at her, then says, "Because of the drugs...?" (Luana has no idea what Keiko is talking about, does she? ^^;) (Not a clue!) * Keiko keeps looking at her for a long moment, then says something sharp in Japanese, before adding, quietly, "He didn't tell you. Of course he didn't." * Luana frowns and her posture straightens. Darkly, she says, "Togo only said they would significantly shorten my lifespan if I had taken them much longer. Are you telling all three of us are -barren- and he -neglected- to tell me?" * Keiko shakes her head then says, "Luana, even if I... started now, which I... we're going to be dead by the time they would hit 18." * Keiko then adds softly, "We've... can you imagine doing that to your daughter?" We... only have eightten more years? * Luana looks down and shakes her head. "No, of- of course you couldn't do that. You could never..." * Keiko is silent a moment, then says quietly, "Twenty, maybe. We'll never hit twenty-five." (Er, wait. Rephrase.) * Keiko is silent a moment, then says quietly, "Twenty, maybe. We'll never get twenty-five more years." At least... the way they were talking about it. * Luana whispers, "Oh." * Keiko looks back to her, and then hugs her softly as she whispers back, "I'm sorry, Lu. You... you deserved better." * Luana hugs her back. "I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry. You're the one who deserves better, you..." Keiko, it hurts, but... it's not too bad. I don't want to outlive you or Togo anyway. I'm just sorry that you won't be able to have children. * Keiko looks over at her, then says softly, "You should. I mean, now, maybe, it seems like... but I mean, there's got to be some guy out there who's not Sebastian, right?" She smiles wanly. * Luana affects a whining tone and complains, "But Sebastian is so -pretty-," then giggles and ruins the effect. * Keiko laughs a little too, then says back, "But such a jerk." * Luana smiles. "Togo has a lot of friends in the world-saving industry. Maybe he can set me up on a -blind- date." * Keiko groans, then replies quietly, "They'll have to get past me first." Well, at least I'll know they're worth having after you've approved them. And as for children, maybe you could... adopt an older child? * Keiko closes her eyes as she lowers her head to her shoulder. Then she murmurs, "Maybe. I really wanted one of my own. I could... teach her how to use her powers. She... she wouldn't lose her sight." * Luana rubs Keiko's back soothingly. "It would be better than nothing." * Keiko shudders in Luana's arms, then whispers, "It's always... 'better than nothing'. I want... I want the something I want, sometimes." * RowynAway is now known as Rowyn Just once, I'd... I'd like to want things and not have it be so... so damn far away. You could still have a child. You could... find someone else to take care of her once you're gone. But it still wouldn't be fair to her. * Keiko whispers, "I know." A pause, then, "But still... I'd like what I want to matter too. I'm a fire that doesn't get to consume anything. A gardener that never eats." You'll get to be free of Blitzkrieg. Didn't you want that? * Keiko chcukles weakly and looks back to Luana. "They took their price. I didn't die for them, so I'll die anyway." * Luana sighs and just holds Keiko. * Keiko murmurs, "You see why I didn't want to do this? I rise as others rise, but I always spiral down. I know what is waiting for me at the end of everything." It just means I take you with me. I want to be wherever you are, down -or- up. * Keiko pauses, kisses Luana's shoulder, and then after a moment adds, "That's why you deserve better than what you're getting, Lu. You mean that." (brb) (Back) I'm not a saint, silly. * Keiko looks at her and smiles weakly. "Compared to everyone else I've met in the last year, you're a goddess." I told Togo I'd follow him if he tried to leave me. I'd still do it, but I'm pretty sure that's the definition of stalking. * Keiko laughs, then pulls back and runs her finger along her collar. "I think so, yes." There... aren't even laws against the things I've done. * Keiko glances over at her and half-smiles. "So really... I don't know how much I care about the law." But what I mean is, I'm not perfect. And you're always thinking of others. * Keiko is silent in response to that. Finally, she says, "Am I thinking of others, or just protecting myself?" Philosophy. It's dumb. It totally is. You're a wonderful human being. And since you trust me, it must be true. * Keiko laughs and then replies, "You try to make it so simple, Lu. I wish it were." So, do you feel any better? * Keiko looks over at her, then says quietly, "Maybe a little. Trying to remember that I should stay out of your dreams." You can hang out there if you want to, but not tonight. We all need our rest. * Keiko is silent a moment, then nods slowly. Then she reaches into her coat and pulls out a bracelet, the bracelet Karin gave her, and says, "Here. I know Karin was a little at a loss, and it's nice and all, but... I'd rather you have it." * Luana takes it. "Karin gave this to you?" * Keiko nods slightly. "Christmas." I'll find something better when the drugs are gone, but for now... * Luana smiles and puts it on her left wrist. "Thank you." * Keiko smiles a bit back. "You're welcome." After a moment, she adds, "If something happens, you get everything I've got." And you can have all my things if anything happens to me. And if I'm not around, I know Togo will make sure you're set up, so don't hesitate to ask him. * Luana brightens. "Oh! Togo said I can speak to the other guardians however I want now. So tell me if Heinrick is upsetting you, I'm allowed to do anything short of kicking him in the groin or setting him on fire." * Keiko 's eyes widen, then she laughs faintly and says, "But those are the funniest things you could do." Well, setting him on fire wouldn't be fun. And kicking a person in the groin is cruel. ...I think that's Togo's thought process regarding those two things. * Keiko replies, "Maybe it'd remind him he's supposed to be human." * Keiko then sighs. "I guess that doesn't matter much now, though." Everything'll be all right. You'll see. * Keiko smiles over at her a little. "If you keep believing that, it'll help." * Luana thinks loudly, ~Everything'll be all right. You'll see.~ * Luana starts repeating the phrase cheerfully in her head. * Keiko laughs faintly and crosses her arms, smiling despite herself. "You think you can keep that up?" ~You'll see. Everything- I wonder how long I can- oh no, I stopped!~ * Keiko laughs and thinks back, ~It takes practice to control your thoughts.~ Pause. ~Or intense drugs.~ I've had enough of those, I think. * Luana hugs Keiko briefly. "Unless there's anything else, I should get some sleep. The nap wasn't really enough." * Keiko hugs her back, for a long moment, then she whispers back, "No, go ahead. Like you said... we'll need it." * Luana kisses the top of Keiko's head, then heads out. "Goodnight." * Keiko puts her finger to her collar, thinking back at her, ~Goodnight.~ [Mini end!]