[Date: Same day. Time: Later.] [Driving the van to hell and back has been a rather long trip. So long that Heinrick feels the need to get a replacement driver by this point. Fortunately, Togo's awake to take over so he takes over the wheel and we all die burning in flames.] (good end!) (You could make Jamie drive.) [Luckily, Heinrick is saner than that and gives the wheel to Roseli instead. Heinrick swaps seats so he can get some much needed rest. Most everyone else is sleeping and getting ready for the confrontation ahead as well.] [Mini start.] * Keiko woke up for a short time earlier, when Rose was asleep, going into another of her crying jags. Eventually she just lay there, eyes wide, next to Luana. Maybe even talking! But now her eyes are closed again... because she's invisible in astral form again. She's pacing in astral form. * Heinrick is laying down fairly quietly, not stiring much. His glasses are in his pocket with his head turned to the side. Duster coats make good blankets * Keiko looks over at Heinrick and licks her astral lips a moment, shrugs, and puts her hands to either side of Heinrick's head. It takes her a little longer than it did for Rose for her to disappear. [Keiko finds herself in the middle of a vast landscape. At least it may be vast. It's hard to tell, because there's a grey haze at the edge of vision all around just out of reach. Clouds overhead also take away from the visibility here. The ground isn't much better and seems somewhat ashen, both in texture and in color. Every here and there is a branch sticking out of the ground to give a bit of brown color to the otherwise barren landscape. Every so often, [There's a stiff chill breeze in the air, although it is cool, not cold. Heinrick doesn't appear to be here, at least not yet.] * Keiko is ghostly and blue. She looks around and murmurs, "Of course it is a grey mire...." * Keiko says that in Japanese, before she floats her way around. [Footsteps sound off in the distance and appear to be getting closer. They stop for a moment, and then there is a striking sound, like a match.] [Heinrick appears to be there, standing in the mire. He appears a bit younger than he does in life, although not by much. He works on lighting his pipe that doesn't seem to contribute much to the rest of the mire.] * Keiko floats over near him, but doesn't bother speaking up. * Heinrick takes a light puff, then looks in Keiko's general direction. He doesn't have his glasses on, so his gaze seems a bit more focused without the blue tint. "I wasn't aware I had a visitor. Care to join me?" * Keiko chuckles and replies, lowly, "You'll have to let me in first. But I don't much enjoy smoke. The third time it's been offered today." * Heinrick shakes his head. "I haven't found many who enjoy a good pipe. The smoke tends to be stronger. I meant for a walk." He snaps his fingers for Keiko. That appears to be an invitation of sorts, or at least an acceptance of her presence. * Keiko fades into existance for real, silver collar and anklets/bracelets on. Her blue dress is simple and has a box cut. She floats just off the ground. "Roseli does. Any port in a storm, I suppose." * RowynAway has joined #mc4 * Heinrick has quit IRC (Ping timeout) * RowynAway is now known as Heinrick * Heinrick looks confused at her for a moment, and then recognition dawns. "Ah." He then looks surprised. "You're not one of them." Who are them? * Heinrick shakes his head. "It isn't important. I thought I had a visitor. Earlier than expected. But it would appear you *are* willing to walk with me then." * Heinrick then looks at her for a moment. "It is...Keiko, is it not?" * Keiko nods slightly. "Keiko it is. I am a visitor of sorts." * Heinrick chuckles. "Visitor? This place? I thought I was the only one who cared for this solitude." He takes in a breath. "It is peaceful here." * Heinrick waves her on. "Very well. I'm not one to turn down an invitation for company." He starts walking. Slowly so Keiko can keep up. There's a bit of a wail in the distance. * Keiko mms, then replies, "It's no longer solitude, is it?" She floats along with him. Peaceful still... for now. What do you mean? About peace, or solitude? * Keiko smiles thinly. "I rarely know either, Heinrick." * Heinrick looks a bit confused. "I...you know me?" * Keiko looks over at him. "No." I do not recall introducing myself. * Keiko replies, as they move forward, "But I was right, yes? Perhaps I just guess well." * Heinrick shrugs slightly. "It does not matter really, I suppose...ah, yes. Keiko..." * Heinrick chuckles. "I faintly remember. But it is fleeting." * Heinrick keeps walking. There's some shouts in various languages. Italian, French, a lot of Polish. Understandable. It has only been 9 months. 9 months...do not feel offended, Keiko. It is sometimes hard when you are focusing on something else... * Heinrick smiles at her for a moment. "I almost forgot Roseli. For a moment. Too. [The haze starts to fade away. In the scenery there are grave stones. There are other figures, indistinct, but definitely scientists. They seem to be clutching a body that appears to be wailing in terror. It also looks, for all intents and purposes to be dead as they carry it off. Except for the fact that it's still moving. Half the flesh is missing or rotting, though thankfully there's no smell.] * Keiko mms, then replies, "It wasn't... really offense. We are..." she trails off, and her voice gets colder. "... where is this?" [Heinrick, for his part, doesn't seem phased and just continues walking through the grave yard past some of the scientists. One group seems to be beating a body that's trying to move away.] * Heinrick turns around. "Hmm?" * Keiko looks around and gestures. "This. Where is this?" What is... this? Oh. I'm afraid I'm not sure. This is where I usually tend to take my stroll. Do they... always do this? * Heinrick gestures to the dead for a moment. "I thought you were one of them come to take me through here." He looks at the actual dead and then frowns a bit. It's the first hint of emotion he's really shown during this journey. Ah. * Keiko looks around a moment, then, "I... look better than most of them, I must say." * Heinrick shakes his head slightly. "Always is hard to say. It is usually...calm. But we cannot always choose it." You do now, certainly. * Keiko looks at them, then says quietly, "These are ugly thoughts, Heinrick. What do you... expect here? Is this solitude?" [A hand reaches out of the ground a few yards from Keiko. The scientists seem to have gone and the graves are left behind. Most of them are indistinct. Heinrick keeps walking past.] * Keiko looks down at the hand, then floats up next to Heinrick to continue the motion. * Heinrick chuckles. "Expect? I expect nothing. This is what is." Sins, I suppose you could say. * Heinrick kneels near one of the graves. It's one of the few that happens to have a name on it, but fortunately no hand is reaching out of it. Zarina Nahr is clearly etched in it. * Keiko looks down at it and flinches, before saying quietly, "Zarina. It's... a day for the past." Why is she.... your sin? That's dumb. * Heinrick chuckles. "She's a small part in a lot of it. I suppose she is not a sin at all." He gestures out to the moving dead. "They are." But I did fail to rescue here. Do you not hold that against me? (*her) * Keiko looks over at Heinrick, then looks down and says quietly, "We... all failed her. But she... chose her death. Wrong and lonely as it was... she was grasping for the only love she'd ever thought she'd... felt." I should have let her know. She chose to sacrifice, yes. I was there to prevent it and was unable to. Though I suppose I have her to be thankful for this whole mess. * Heinrick chuckles as he stands up. "The dead would sleep until her death. Now the dead are restless as she sleeps. Ironic, is it not?" * Keiko looks over at Heinrick. "I'm not sure." * Heinrick sighs. "Of course. You do not know my thoughts. You never asked." * Keiko blinks, then snorts. "You don't give them out. I'm not going to beg _you_ for your thoughts." I am... not your daughter. You could be hers. * Keiko squints. "You... do not mean Zarina, I hope. She wasn't that old." * Heinrick laughs lightly. "No. She is not who I am here to visit." * Heinrick frowns slightly as his vision focuses on a group assaulting a corpse, who is holding up her hands, moaning as if a plea to stop. He starts heading over there quickly. * Keiko floats after, the floating a bit more obvious because she actually needs some speed. * Heinrick goes up and takes a long swing at the guy. Although he's used his arm that supposedly has the cybernetic arm, he doesn't smash his face in. He just gets a bruised cheek. It must not be cyber in here. He starts yelling at the scientist in Polish. "" * Keiko squints and then steals Polish from him for a moment. She frowns and looks between all the scientists. [They argue back. "" To which Heinrick spits on them. Yes, literally spits.] * Heinrick puts his hands on his waist as they go away and he takes a breath. "I am...sorry you had to witness this." * Keiko murmurs, "I thought you wouldn't be quite as literal as some." * Heinrick looks at Keiko for a moment. "Hm?" * Keiko shakes her head. "Nothing. So what... raising the dead wasn't... just a topic of conversation?" * Heinrick considers that for a moment. "I think you should wait for that question until we reach the end of our journey." * Keiko mms, then says, "It's... your show." * Heinrick heads off through the graveyard. No more of the scientists come and it generally seems more peaceful in this section of the graveyard. It then tends to spread out with the gravestones. * Keiko mms, then says, "Why does it bother you I don't ask? It isn't as if you could not tell me, at length." [Ahead is a rather well tended gravestone. There have been some obvious signs of it being well kept, as it doesn't have the ashy dust that the rest of the stones have. In fact, there's actual grass growing around it and flowers left at the headstone. The name reads Maryse Durand.] * Heinrick doesn't seem to hear Keiko just yet. He takes a white flower out of his coat and rests it at the foot of the grave. After a moment's silence, he stands and has a place to sit on a nearby gravestone that just appeared. * Heinrick shakes his head slightly. "Would you care if I told?" * Keiko looks down at the flower and doesn't sit. After a moment she says, "Are you telling of yourself, or telling me about myself?" She looks over at him. "I am pretty familiar with myself." Of myself. I cannot really tell you of you, can I? You *are* the telepath, after all. Do you really think that stops you? * Heinrick smiles. "Do you think it's stopped me from trying? You are tremendously close-lipped until you explode or criticize." * Heinrick sighs slightly. "I suppose I am no better though." * Keiko rubs her collar a moment, then says, "I have little to offer you, and much to lose. Are you asking if your words would matter to me?" Pretty much. * Keiko mms, then replies, "It depends what they are, doesn't it? A flower on a grave... traditional, I suppose." * Heinrick nods and takes his pipe out again. "My wife." * Heinrick starts up lighting again. "She rests so peacefully now. I wish it weren't so." * Keiko licks her lips before saying quietly, "Pure love. You miss her." * Heinrick chuckles. "I did. Not so much now." He looks down at her grave. "Regret I would say more than miss." But I live with the weight of what I did for her every day. * Keiko is silent a moment, says quietly, "Everything is so heavy between us all." * Heinrick nods slightly and then looks her over with a half smile. "Why did you come on this journey?" * Keiko smiles to herself. "For the journey." * Keiko looks over at Heinrick. "I didn't think it was possible before, for either of you. Now it is." * Heinrick chuckles. "Spoken like a true scientist." * Heinrick sighs. "You were asking about a conversation about the dead?" * Keiko makes a bleh noise. "I thought I wanted to be a scientist once. Like my mother. But..." she trails off. "You kept bringing it up earlier. The dead." A moment, then, "In conversation." * Heinrick nods slightly. "Ah." He takes a long draw off his pipe. "No, I'm afraid it wasn't. It is something that has plagued me for a long while." He gestures with his pipe to the grave. "Because of her." * Keiko looks over at her, then, "Your regret." She looks back to Heinrick. "You wanted to raise her? Like... what they were doing?" * Heinrick nods in response to Keiko, then takes a breath before smoking. "Several times, in fact. It was never successful. Well...I suppose that is not entirely true. It was successful once, of sorts." * Keiko is staring at him by this point, then says quietly, "I... can feel people when they die. But I would much rather feel some of them... alive." How does... of sorts? Like... those things out there? * Heinrick looks at his pipe. "Enough to bring them back? If you could?" Some, yes. They did not last long. But I do not count those as "success." * Heinrick looks at his own hand. "But actually, I was the successful experiment." * Keiko sighs and says quietly, "I don't know. Mother suffered quite a bit before she died. Zarina... would come back to a horrible world..." * Keiko trails off as Heinrick says that, looking to him. "... dead?" (Shift those around a bit.) (Yeah.) * Heinrick smiles slightly at Keiko. "For but a moment. Though I cannot be certain. I could not duplicate it, but as far as I knew, I was clinically dead. But there were...complications." * Keiko looks back at him, looks to his hand, then back to him. "Your drugs, your arm, your mind...?" * Heinrick taps his pipe and gives a curt nod in response. * Keiko sucks in her lip, then, "Why... do you regret your wife being dead?" * Heinrick laughs lightly. "Do you feel it all that unusual for another human being to regret their wife being dead?" * Keiko is silent a moment, then, "A natural death is not something to regret." Miss, but not regret. * Keiko smiles weakly. "For most people." * Heinrick shakes his head slightly. "I did misspeak a little. For that I am sorry." I suppose that is the more appropriate word. Though I was blinded to all else after her death. I doubt she would approve. * Keiko smiles weakly and murmurs, "Why does it matter? They're your emotions." * Heinrick taps his pipe slightly. "This is an awful lot of curiosity." I have nothing else to do. I suppose. It just seems unusual to have a listener without answers. * Keiko mms, then she replies, "What answers could I have? I... you loved your wife, I hope. I... it hurts so much to lose people you love. What more could you want of me?" I'm an artist without a place to draw, a girl without someone to love, an empath without anything to feel, a telepath without anything to see... and a dreamer without dreams of my own. What do I have to give you, Heinrick? * Heinrick smiles slightly. "I did not think I asked anything of you." * Keiko 's lips press together, then, "Unusual to have a listener without answers. What did you expect, then?" * Heinrick shakes his head. "Understanding is unusual." * Heinrick looks at Keiko a moment. "Criticism perhaps. Fear. Disgust." He rolls his eyes slightly. "I suppose it does not really matter." * Keiko looks back at him, then narrows her eyes. "What pain did you cause? What... did they feel anything? Were they even alive?" It's... what is there to be afraid of? You won't be bringing me back if I die. * Heinrick shakes his head. "No. But not all see it that way. * Heinrick chuckles. "You probably would not forgive me if I did." It doesn't... look good. * Keiko shakes her head. "I... care about people, Heinrick. And I'm not sure it's... any other reason than that I can't ignore them. Maybe it is. I don't know how I'd ever know." * Heinrick sighs. "On the contrary...to some, it looks very good. Those who would see it as a "valuable asset." * Keiko snorts and says, "Zunkuft, Blitzkreig, Grozvi... anyone like that, sure." * Heinrick stands as he smokes. "Precisely." I believe it is time for me to walk back though. * Keiko mms, then replies, "People see me as an asset too, Heinrick." * Keiko isn't standing in the way of his walk or anything. * Heinrick nods. "I realize that. I prefer to see you as Keiko." * Keiko mms, then replies, "What... is Keiko to you?" * Heinrick smiles sadly. "Someone who is very angry at a system that has treated her very poorly but tends to lash out at the wrong people sometimes because of it." * Keiko presses her lips together again, then, "Why are you the wrong people, Heinrick? You knew what you'd be doing... you just didn't know you'd be doing it to me." And if not me, would that mean someone else would not take my place? * Keiko looks down and to the side. "There's always someone to replace anyone. Control got replaced. Is... nobody deserving of anger? Can... nobody do anything wrong themselves?" * Keiko clenches her fist. "Everyone has reasons. Everyone... why can't I just... why do I have to forgive everyone everything ever did to me? I already have to feel most of it!" * Heinrick sighs and rubs the bridge of his nose. "I am responsible for everything I did." * Keiko raises the fist at Heinrick. "So sometimes I'm angry at you! And sometimes I'm angry at Rose, and Togo, and at Jamie, and Luana, and me, and the political people and all the Germans who vote for them... the British people who aren't doing anything to help... even my Mother." What's wrong with any of that? Why... why don't I get to be angry, or sad, or... just feel for myself? * Heinrick pauses for a moment, considering his words carefully. "That's the trouble with actually choosing, isn't it?" Being angry is natural. But what you choose to do with that anger is your responsibility. * Heinrick shows his hand across the field. "Just as what I chose to do with my grief was my responsibility." * Keiko glances, then looks back to Heinrick and says quietly, "I couldn't do... anything." * Heinrick nods slightly then takes a breath. "I'm not asking you not to be angry, Keiko." I'm just asking you to choose what you do with your anger. Can you agree to that? * Keiko crosses her arms. "And if I choose to be angry some at you anyway?" Then you choose to be angry at me. * Keiko exhales noisily, then says, "But I was choosing. I was angry at you. So I was." * Heinrick takes a breath. "And I have a right to respond." * Keiko says slowly, "Yes... sure, respond all you want." * Heinrick takes a deep breath. "You have asked what I want from you. What is it you want from me, Keiko?" * Keiko sighs and flashes a scalpel, looking at it a moment. "I wish I knew. I don't... have wants like you do. I don't... get to have things matter. I'm a tool." * Heinrick snorts. "You do like to use that easily, don't you?" So how are you *my* tool? * Keiko looks back at him, and says quietly, "When I feel Luana care, when I feel Jamie hurt, I think different, but when it is just you and I... there is no noise. There is just the... cold, sharpness of my being." She flips the scalpel, then catches it. "I don't know I am anymore." But what can you give me, except... understanding of you? What could I even want? I don't know. You're just... there. * Keiko smiles wanly. "You can't even give me freedom. All you can do is wait it out." * Heinrick chuckles. "The best I can do is lack of orders." He shakes his head slightly. "And all I ask is you to at least consider my advice." * Keiko shrugs, then says, "On the field, Heinrick... I don't ignore you. You know that's true." * Keiko narrows her eyes at him. "And off the field... what advice do you have for me? On my mother? On Luana? On my future? Anything, Heinrick? Do you know about any of those things?" * Heinrick mms a little. "And off the field?" (Reorder?) (Yes) Have I given advice on any of those things? Then what are you gonna advise me on? * Keiko throws the scalpel at the ground, then sighs. * Heinrick sighs. "I do not know the future, Keiko." He opens his eyes. "But if I do give advice, I only wish that you can hear it for what it is. It is not as if I advise easily." Can you respect it? * Keiko looks back at him. "Advice is like any other words, Heinrick... I have to figure out why you're saying it first." Like... like the anger thing. You're saying that because you don't want me to hit you. You don't think you deserve it. But you won't... say you don't deserve it. * Heinrick closes his eyes. "Then ask. Don't presume." * Heinrick then opens them. "Perhaps it's not a matter of if, but a matter of when." * Keiko frowns. "What if, what when?" When I deserve it. * Keiko crosses her arms. "Sometimes you do." * Heinrick smiles. "Like now?" * Keiko smiles slightly. "A bit." She shakes her head. "Asking is hard, Heinrick. Because it's just like not asking." If I ask you why you said it, you tell me why. But why did you tell me the why you told me? Then do it. Fine. * Keiko points at him, scalpel back in hand. "Why did you go and work for Blitzkreig? Knowing you'd have to do what you'd do?" To which? Knowing I would have to continue my experiments or knowing that I would be ordering wards around? * Keiko pauses, then says, "... both." I was...still interested in finding an answer at the time. Although that is not an excuse... * Heinrick takes a breath. "Though I did not approach Blitzkrieg. They approached me." * Heinrick smiles at Keiko. "Join or have my secret exposed." Are you really surprised by that though? * Keiko is silent a moment, then, "... exposed to who?" * Heinrick takes a breath. "The authorities." ... it's illegal? I thought it was _impossible_. How can impossible things be illegal? * Heinrick takes a deep breath. "Attempting the experiments are, in my country, yes." * Keiko mms slightly. "Is it... illegal everywhere?" I--I mean, you chose to hurt the me you didn't know... and you act like you had to. I... did you have to? * Heinrick sighs. "Did I have to? I chose to save my own skin." He folds his arms. "If I did not, they threatened to return me." They...did not tell me at the time the exact nature of the experiments beyond genetic modification, no. * Keiko is silent for a few moments. * Heinrick waits for Keiko to respond. * Keiko finally says, "I'm sorry. Caring about living is... one of the weirdest things about normal people I have to do." Have to understand. * Heinrick raises an eyebrow. "Caring about living?" * Keiko looks back at Heinrick. "It's hard to explain, Heinrick. But... I'm sorry you ended up where you felt you had no choice, but... you still got to go home, still got to... do things." * Heinrick sighs. "You believe I don't realize that. But by the time I realized that, I was already in it." He smiles wanely. "The most I could do is lessen the impact on you as much as I could. And that included knowing where you were coming from..." * Keiko looks confused. "Knowing where I'm coming from?" * Heinrick looks away. "They were already talking about considering you a failure from the moment I received your file, Keiko." * Heinrick waves his hand idly. "Knowing what the drugs were actually doing to you. Knowing the true extent of it. The impact." * Keiko looks up a moment. "Of course I was a failure. After Grozvi, I... I didn't care." * Keiko then lets out a quiet sigh, and as she does, the entire landscape seems to fade out. "There wasn't anything left of me." * Heinrick chuckles. "I suppose they did pick an ideal pair then." * Keiko exhales, and the world comes back into focus, but the drabness is gone, a partly cloudy sky over head. "Heinrick..." * Heinrick looks at Keiko for a moment. "Hm?" * Keiko shakes hre head. "I don't know. I just... don't know. It seems like you made a mistake. I... guess I should be forgiving. But I... was still me." * Heinrick smiles at Keiko a little, sadly. "Yes. You were. It's okay to be both." Me making a mistake never made you...not you. * Keiko looks at him funny, then says, "That's not... I mean, you... you're acting like you wanted to help me. But I could never tell. You never told me. And I couldn't ask." Did you really want to help me? Did you... do this to help me? * Heinrick is silent for a moment. At the beginning, it was only about not causing any more harm. * Heinrick smiles slightly at Keiko. "Not damaging anything more that I came in contact with." He then shakes his head. "I admit to that." * Keiko listens, but then adds a quiet, "And?" * Heinrick shakes his head slightly and then gestures to Keiko slightly. "As you said earlier. I do not know you well enough to help. All I can do is make certain we all survive long enough so you can find out what that might be." * Heinrick looks at her fully and takes a breath. "I am not your mother, Keiko. I never will be. But I don't hate you." * Keiko shivers a bit, then murmurs, "I'm glad you're not my mother. You're a guy." * Heinrick shakes his head slightly. "If we get out of this, we get out of it together. What you choose to do with your life is your own." He shakes his head some more. "I was planning to work on something after this to counteract the effects of the drugs, but it does not look hopeful." * Keiko replies quietly, "You... said something like that before. In Italy." * Heinrick chuckles. "Did you believe it?" It was... confusing. Because the only reason the enemy would want to help you is if it were a trap. * Keiko tenses, then says, "And we went back to Blitzkreig." * Heinrick tilts his head. "I offered you a choice to stay under Togo's protection." * Keiko shakes her head. "I don't... that wasn't real. He went back too." Doesn't matter. * Keiko looks back to him. "We'll... know in two weeks. When Luana is... ready to move. It's been nine months already..." * Heinrick nods slightly. Thank you. For walking with me. * Keiko shrugs slightly, starts, "It's..." and then trails off. After a moment she starts again. "I... ngh." * Heinrick turns towards her again, curious. I was curious. I'm... glad it gave you somethin'. It only gave you more questions? Not 'only'. * Heinrick shakes his head. "I have a bad tendency to do that." * Keiko exhales out her nose and looks up. "This feels weird. I don't like just... knowing you two through dreams." I mean, you both... wear this metal, this ice, these shields, and it's like grasping in the dark. Well...I cannot speak for others... * Heinrick looks at Keiko sharply. "But it is the only thing that keeps me sane. If you wish to call it that." * Keiko looks annoyed. "Roseli doesn't have a choice. You don't have a choice. But I still don't... like it." * Heinrick shakes his head slightly. "Honestly, I think you're missing the fact that it's a miracle you have an ability to see beyond the shields at all." Most people don't have that, Keiko. * Keiko looks at her oddly, then says. "It's not a miracle." It's how I've always been. (s/her/him) (Yeah, that.) * Heinrick tilts his head slightly. "And who you are can't be a miracle?" * Keiko laughs weakly and says, "No." Not me. * Heinrick smiles slightly. "Very well then. I'll let you be on your way." * Heinrick walks away from the cheery scenery, back into the mist. * Keiko frowns a moment, then chuckles to herself, murmuring, "Wasn't born right, didn't grow right, didn't learn right, didn't live right... I'd be the worst miracle ever." [Mini End!]